


My Favourite Scent

by Hichanchen, Smut_Hemingway



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Description of the artistic process and art references, Differences in perceptions, Drawing, Fluff, Hurt feelings, M/M, Meeting after 10 years, Metaphors, Minhyuk is a little violent, Regrets, Sexuality is fluid according to Minhyuk, Showhyuk is beautiful, Shownu can take it, Shownu is straight, Smut, Tattoo Artist Shownu, Writer Minhyuk, bitch you thought, emotional discussions, metaphorgasms, showhyuk - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-15
Updated: 2018-08-15
Packaged: 2019-05-06 19:58:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 31,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14655084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hichanchen/pseuds/Hichanchen, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smut_Hemingway/pseuds/Smut_Hemingway
Summary: Hyunwoo is a tattoo-artist, working together with his best friend Hoseok in a Tattoo Studio in London. His passion are flowers, drawing them and bringing the drawings under other people’s skin. His life appears absolutely ordinary until a person from ten years ago appears at his work all of a sudden bringing chaos into the indifference, forcing him to remember his only regret and his favourite scent.Minhyuk is a writer, taking inspiration from his never-ending list of failed relationships and one-sided emotional attachment. After stopping his four-year long friends-with-benefits relationship to the autistic Hyungwon he is thrown out of balance once again. Until he suddenly meets his love interest from ten years ago and decides to stop the silent hurting and to finally abandon his image of the suffering Werther, taking matters into his own hands.





	My Favourite Scent

**Author's Note:**

> Dear Readers, 
> 
> after finishing #Chaos we decided to write a separate short story (that happened to be 32k long) about Shownu and Minhyuk. We hope that you'll like it. You don't need to read Chaos to understand this one!
> 
> For the completed Chaos-Fanfiction see: [CHAOS](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13735065/chapters/31557279%20)  
>   
>   
> This Oneshot wouldn't have been the same without our amazing Beta-Readers @aliceejy7, Natalie and Christian. 
> 
> This book is also available as soft cover in our online shop, [Here.](https://payhip.com/b/JA03)  
>   
> The description of the artistic process is only this beautiful because of my precious and insanely talented friend @neon_eottae who also helped us with the Showhyuk dynamics as it's our first time writing the pairing =) 
> 
> We are insanely thankful to each and every one.
> 
> Feel free to hit us up on Twitter:  
> [@Hichanchen](http://twitter.com/Hichanchen)  
> [@Smut_Hemingway](http://twitter.com/Smut_Hemingway)

Hyunwoo had spent hours arranging different motifs, flowers over flowers, the task even more difficult as he kept thinking about the anatomy of the slim back, where to ink and what to ink.

_He wants a blooming flower, Hyunwoo, so you have to give him the fucking flower. Why are you hesitating? Take the pen, draw the bloody plant, take the machine, tattoo it, the end._

_Can’t be as hard as you try to make it seem, can it?_

He didn’t understand himself. Sure, it was a little more special than with a usual customer he didn’t know, or only saw in the context of his tattoo studio. Instead it was an unusually handsome man he had known from his high school days. They had sat together in art class, Hyunwoo had drawn flowers and Minhyuk had written stories. The way the delicate hand held the pen had been mesmerizing. Sometimes Hyunwoo had drawn the beautiful fingers holding the small black ink pen, simply because it had been pure aesthetics and he loved aesthetics. Minhyuk’s handwriting had somehow been very artistic too, beautiful strokes flowing onto the white paper like a small ink stream and creating something incredibly fine, full of meaning.

_And he’s gay._

Shaking his head and almost slapping himself Hyunwoo finally took a pen and started drawing.

_So, fucking what? Why are you even thinking about this? Why is it even relevant? The flower, think about the flower._

The handsome man had written him a letter once. It must’ve been after the incident at the graduation party, the one single time they had been closer than just classmates who sat at the same desk. The black, carefully curved letters were drenched in emotion, something that had been a first for him. He didn’t know what to do with it, what to do with the way he had felt after reading the words, opening a Pandora’s box inside himself he hadn’t known existed and also hadn’t wanted to know about. So, he had ignored it. Successfully. Until the black-haired man had appeared in his tattoo studio, the intoxicating scent bringing back memories from their time spent together.

_How, Hyunwoo? What did it smell like? You can’t just let him come here and smell him. Or can you?_

He took out his phone and typed a short message, answering Minhyuk’s bubbly texts about anticipating their tattoo session he had ignored until now. He was asking whether they could design the draft on the go, hoping that the handsome man would just lie down and let him sense the scent, drawing the flowers right on the back while the memory was still fresh.

It was a mystery how the other could so easily return to the way they had treated each other ten years ago. Hugging out of nowhere, the natural touchiness, the way Minhyuk squeezed his arm, delicate fingers stroking along the muscles in the process, or how the breathy voice whispered something into his ear, leaning in close, so incredibly close that he knew exactly how the other smelled. The bubbly black-haired man managed to make it look natural, like something that was absolutely fine to do, leaving him to deal with the aftermath. Alone.

_Why are you still thinking about those useless things? You’re a hypocrite for telling Hoseok his relationships are complex when you’re not able to draw a fucking tattoo for an old friend._

Thinking about it, he envied Hoseok for just dealing with everything life threw at him as it happened. Hyunwoo wasn’t able to do that, suffering from useless attachment and unresolved misunderstandings.

_It wouldn’t be that hard if Minhyuk was a friend. Just a friend._

Shaking his head, he stood up and turned on the coffee machine, pressing the button for a double espresso and waiting until the dark brown liquid had filled the cup. Minhyuk’s hair had been dark brown back then. He had watched while the other man concentrated so incredibly on writing in the black leather notebook, placing letters and dots on the white paper, perfectly conditioned pink lips pulled into the pretty mouth.

_He used lip balm all the time, he is probably doing the same now._

The clock showed that it was almost time for his customer to come. His customer that he hadn't prepared a draft for, but knew ridiculous details about. Such as how the other could purse his lips so that small dimples appeared. Hyunwoo would have been able to draw it on the spot.

When the electric bell sounded it was almost ten past. Being on time had never been one of Minhyuk’s virtues, preferring to appear late but with rather elaborate excuses that he had always brought physical proof for. How he had found the time to do so despite being late had been a mystery just like a lot of other things.

There was a smile on the pretty face as the other man took off his trench coat and threw it on one of the coat hooks, expression impossibly bright and almost infectious. There was a simple shirt and blue jeans on the slim body, nothing too extravagant or tight as it had been in high school.

“Hello there, big one,” Minhyuk commented and walked over to him, arms immediately curling around his neck as a greeting, disregarding personal space as he liked doing. “I can’t wait to see how you make flowers bloom.”

The words were whispered into his ear, magically creating an intimate atmosphere, something Minhyuk was especially good at. Hyunwoo tried to think of what to answer to be able to suck in the intoxicating scent a little longer.

“Actually, I like it if it fits to the person, I thought of drawing something on the go, fitting to your- to your anatomy.” The major problem with his brain was that there wasn’t enough capacity for thinking and talking and trying to determine a fragrance at the same time, at least one of the actions failed miserably.

Minhyuk chuckled, voice a pleasant timbre. It was not impossibly low but not particularly high either, just comfortable to listen to.

The other man let go of his neck but left one beautiful hand curled around his upper arm, watching his face carefully until a bright smile returned again, lighting up the features in an instant.

“I love it when you look confused or awkward, it’s really sweet and makes you likable,” the handsome man commented and pressed his lips together, returning moisture without licking over them but by pulling them into his mouth. “It’s like you don’t pretend to be something you’re not.”

“Wouldn’t that be nice? I mean- to pretend to be someone one is not?” he asked, perceiving the difference in pressure the slim fingers applied against his skin.

“Uhm.” Minhyuk pursed his lips. Hyunwoo could remember how the other man had always shown it whenever he was dissatisfied, expression somehow adorable although it conveyed distaste. “That depends on who you pretend to be. For example, if you try to be a more secretive person that would mean you are much harder to get close to, or if you pretended to be a nice person but actually were an asshole, it would be cheating me into becoming friends with and liking someone that is actually not there. So, isn’t it nicer to know the truth immediately? To not be pulled into something without knowing until one is way too deep in it to get out?”

_He likes open books. Like you, you’re one._

“Still sucks,” he commented and stepped further into the studio, expecting the black-haired man to follow him.

“No one ever likes to be stuck with something. You’re stuck with being genuine and I’m stuck with being a trickster even when I don’t mean to be.” There was something different to the smile that appeared as it didn’t reach his eyes, something unusual for the other man. It stayed as Minhyuk followed him to the tattoo table. “Concerning the motif, you can do whatever you like, Hyunwoo. I am rather curious to see your interpretation of what fits to my ‘anatomy’.”

“Take your shirt off and lie down on your stomach.” He had never been exceptionally good with easing people into actions, or appearing friendly and concerned. He felt comfortable with Minhyuk the way he was but a feeling of angst crept through his limbs that was at odds with the current situation.

_You’re going to tattoo a fucking flower, what the hell is wrong with you?_

“For you always,” Minhyuk commented with a teasing smile and pulled the simple fabric over his head, placing it on Hoseok’s unused tattoo table as he sat down on Hyunwoo’s, disregarding the request to lie down. “It is really fascinating when you say something like that with your baby face. Are others ever conflicted? There is something inherently innocent about you and at the same time your body speaks a whole different story. It’s like a novel on dealing with a dissonance of inside and outside, just that with you it combines on the outside and the inside still needs to be found out. It all seems very pure to me.”

“I’ll touch it. Your skin I mean- helps me to determine how the lines will look in 3D.” The fight between inside and outside had been a little different. There were a lot of things he had thought about, but as soon as he opened his mouth, his brain decided that the complexity was unnecessary and spilled something entirely different. “I mean I would touch you anyway when I ink the design so it shouldn’t be a problem. For you.”

Minhyuk chuckled again, a little louder this time as he turned to the side and gestured for Hyunwoo to go ahead. The movement was halted by a short spark in the dark eyes and the other man slapped his shoulder instead, lower lip pulled out in a pout.

“You ignored my question. I hate that.”

_Question? What question?_

“You said so many things that I can’t remember one of those things being a question to be honest,” he answered, leaning in and sensing the familiar scent, even stronger now that the other man had taken off his shirt.

“You’re cute,” Minhyuk commented and watched him intently before another bright smile graced his features. The other man really smiled a lot. “Never mind, I’ll just ask another one. Why are you tattooing? Back in high school I always thought you would be a swimmer or do something equally physically straining. You were good at it too. I remember watching some competitions of yours.”

Hyunwoo placed a flat palm on the naked back and slid down from the shoulder blades to the spine, feeling the curve while closing his eyes.

“Sports is something I still do, but it’s not a passion, it’s rather something that helps me keep my balance. As you said, for the fight between inside and outside.” He chuckled and isolated an index finger, leaning in closer until the scent hit him full force. It reminded him of the brown wood of their school desk, the feeling of studying Minhyuk's likeness and capturing it with ink on his white paper, but that wasn’t why he loved it. There was a part of him that needed this scent, even if it was only a poor imitation of the real thing. If he could have afforded the real, living and moving one he'd have it every day, then the feeling would be real instead of wishful thinking. It was a mixture between cherry, vanilla and wood, adding something inherently special to the other man.

He felt a light touch on his eyelid, as the index finger that Minhyuk had stretched out traced along his nose bridge and over the second eyelid, until it returned to his biceps, fingers curling around it.

“I said that it even seems like the fight takes place on the outside, body and face complementary but still so different. I like how your eyes change when you smile, the form diverges into the shape of a water droplet, small but impactful. It’s beautiful, just like the things you create. I should note this down as a description, I don’t think many people have eyes like that and it can be something special to describe. Oh, am I talking too much for your taste? I haven’t bothered to ask. Usually I am surrounded by someone who gets confused by every third word I say.” Minhyuk laughed loudly after saying that, crossing his legs and resting most of the weight on one side but still keeping a hand on Hyunwoo’s upper arm.

“You are indeed a writer. That fits you really well, you don’t have the black notebook and the small black pen anymore right? Of course not, it’s ten years ago, or something.” He had tried to say something irrelevant but ended up blurting out memories out of nowhere, confused by the compliment but somehow also euphoric about it.

“You remember that?” the other man asked, surprise evident from his tone of voice, a little higher than usual. The delicate fingers pulled at his arm suddenly, unexpected enough to make him turn towards the source and be confronted with Minhyuk’s face, relatively close as the black-haired man had leaned in. “I still have it. Both of them. I use them to write whenever I feel particularly inspired and desire to awaken a feeling of nostalgia. It’s my way of allowing them to live longer. The notebook isn’t exactly the same of course, I filled more than four of those during high school.”

“I do. I remember a lot of things.” Hyunwoo gave up on social conduct he didn’t really get the concept of anyway and leaned in closer, sucking in the intoxicating scent once again, eyes closed and trying to paint a picture with the olfactory information alone.

_A tree branch with blooming cherry blossoms. Probably._

“About me?” the medium-timbred voice asked as Hyunwoo kept his eyes closed. “Or just in general?”

“In general. You included.” The sensation was breathtaking. He stroked over the other man’s spine again, imagining the curve of the branch and how it would cover the smooth skin.

A shudder passed through the slim body, a reaction to his touch.

“I feel like you know what to ink,” Minhyuk whispered, again shifting so that he moved towards the hand on his back. “I like the way it feels when you touch me, Hyunwoo.”

_This meeting is on a whole new level compared to the way you two were in high school._

“Yes, I guess. A branch with blooming cherry blossoms. Are you okay with it?” He opened his eyes slowly, looking to the side, a little overwhelmed by the intimacy. “That’s good because I will be touching you more when I ink the flowers.”

“I love it.” The answer was short and simple, unlike the previous times when Minhyuk elaborated rather extensively. Sucking his lips into his mouth and moisturizing them that way again, the other man shifted on the tattoo table and pointed at it. “You want me to lie down on my stomach, right?”

“Yes, but first let me disinfect and draw the outline, for that you should stand up, because I need to draw so that it fits to the way your muscles tense when you’re standing freely,” he elaborated, standing up and walking over to the supplies, getting the disinfectant and pens.

“Have you studied art before? I wonder if you have occupied yourself with human anatomy and the way a body moves, drawing nude models to comprehend all the quirks and properties of muscles. It seems like something rather interesting to do. I used to sit in a park and watch people interact and move and imagined various stories for them, reasons why they were there and who they were meeting and what might have happened. It was always a useful and rather entertaining practice.” The handsome man described his experiences while glancing towards him, articulating rather elaborately and gesturing with his hands to support the words. He had crawled back down from the tattoo table and remained standing in the room. “I remember you drawing in high school too although I never believed that you would choose that over sports.”

“I create art and I put it on a body so I guess I combined both in a way. I know about anatomy from sports, I didn’t really study it specifically, but I do seem to have a feeling of my body and how others use theirs. This will be cold.” He wiped the smooth skin with the cool liquid, watching how it reacted, creating goose bumps all over.

“We agree there. I also always thought that you had a particular feeling for how to move the body to achieve something specific and make it appear effortless at the same time.” The other man paused and moistened his lips again, concentrated on the movements of the cloth. “I always found that very attractive about you.”

“Did you?” Hyunwoo waited a couple of seconds before the liquid evaporated and stroked over the spot once. “I’ll start drawing, maybe you should sit down, your posture is very straight so it will be fine and you won’t get exhausted. It might take a while, I want it to be perfect.”

The delicate fingers stroked over his upper arm once as Minhyuk moved back and sat down on the tattoo table again.

“Perfection is a little utopian, isn’t it? I think it’s more real when there are small mistakes, something that is very inherent to the person that created it. In addition, it is subjective, so maybe it will be perfect for you but I will still find my special little something that stands for you.” There was again a bright smile as the delicate fingers rested on the other man’s lap. “Thank you for tattooing me even though you are always overbooked.”

“Perfection depends on the reference. Either way you don’t need to thank me, it’s a given that I’d tattoo an old friend.” The blue pen touched the first bit of skin, as Hyunwoo placed fine lines with long strokes.

“And how do you define a friend, Hyunwoo?” Minhyuk asked, distance a foreign term as the slim hands reached to the back, attempting to touch him although Hyunwoo was drawing.

_He knows that you are anything but friends._

Sucking in a long breath and thinking about something smart to answer, he drew the outlines before stopping in the middle.

“I changed my mind. No cherry blossoms for you.” He chuckled at his own way of expressing. “It just doesn't fit you, you're special, delicate and mesmerizing but also something you're afraid to touch, more like an orchid. Beautiful to look at but easy to break. Also, there's no flower that smells like you and orchids have no fragrance.”

“You like the way I smell? That’s sweet. Is that why you constantly lean in and breathe deeply? You don’t have to hide such things from me, Hyunwoo. If you want to enjoy the scent feel free.” He didn’t see the bright smile but he knew that it was there as Minhyuk slipped further on top of the tattoo table and thereby closer towards him. “I love orchids. My mother raised seven of them in my room because the sunlight was particularly bright without burning them so it reminds me of my childhood. It gives the beauty even more meaning.”

“Yes, you have a very distinct scent. I have an extraordinary sense of smell but I can't quite grasp it, until I smell it on you. You know- like a memory that doesn't do reality justice? Something like that.” He took the opportunity and leaned in, nose mere millimeters from the crook of Minhyuk’s neck, sucking in the mesmerizing mixture of fragrances.

“I think I know what you mean. It seems bright and like every little variation can be put into words and expressed but once it's there each syllable is merely a bland shadow of what it actually is.” The other man moved even closer, enough to let the soft skin brush his nose. “I feel the same.”

“You feel the same about what?” Hyunwoo realized that he must've spaced out, scent absolutely intoxicating. He stopped and leaned back, catching himself at the wish to taste it.

“About you.” Minhyuk stared at him, eyes big and especially expressive with the sharpness of the cheek bones.

He didn't have time to hide his reaction as his eyes widened comically, lips parting and a shaky breath leaving his lungs, creating a thick sound in the empty room.

“But- but you’ve only seen me for the second time in more than ten years, I mean I probably changed a lot and all of it is probably just a nice memory somehow tainted by wishful thinking.”

He really tried to do damage control, memories flooding his brain with the way Minhyuk’s eyes were piercing his soul. Something about the other man had always been painful and dangerous, like a rose, beautiful to look at, soaked with intoxicating fragrance, but dozens of thorns, ready to rip through your skin mercilessly.

A light smile appeared, lips disappearing into the pretty mouth shortly before they reappeared and spread even wider.

“I feel the same. The memory doesn’t do you justice, Hyunwoo. But yes, I also feel the same in general and it is definitely not wishful thinking, because even the wish doesn’t do it any justice.”

Hyunwoo exhaled once again, forcing his hands to concentrate on the drawing, beautiful petals appearing on the slightly moist skin. Minhyuk’s back was broader than he remembered, but of course the other had been rather skinny and boyish in high school and years had passed since he had seen the still rather slim man.

“I'd love to see your handwriting, compare it to the way you wrote back then,” he commented, finishing the blooming flower that spread over the shoulder blade.

“Well, don't I have to sign an agreement for you? It didn't change much but feel free to confirm it later. I can write a poem for you.” The slim body shifted on top of the tattoo table. “You're definitely inspiring enough for that, Hyunwoo.”

“I don't think of myself as inspiring. Actually, I'm super bland and uninteresting.” He completed the last petal and stroked over the skin once. “I'll bring you the agreement, one second.” He walked over to the printer and got the already printed consent form out, coming back and placing it into the delicate hands, along with a small, black pen.

The other man placed the pen between index and middle finger, resting only partially on the thumb as he removed the lid with the fingers of his other hand and touched the paper with the tip, but without writing yet. It seemed like he read with the help of the black pen, gliding it along the lines but not marking it. Only when he arrived at the bottom of the page did the first black mark stain the sheet, curved lines appearing and slowly turning into letters, the two words that made up the handsome man's name. Lee Minhyuk.

_It's like a picture although it's only letters. Stunning._

“It's still beautiful,” he commented and retrieved the paper out of the other’s hands. “And now lie down on your stomach, we'll start.”

“That's how I like my men, actions before words.” Minhyuk laughed loudly and climbed up on the tattoo table, lying down on his stomach and placing his head on top of his crossed arms. “Do you talk while working or do you prefer the quiet? I can't promise that I won't talk, but I'm curious whether I can expect replies.”

_Why is it so torturous? You aren't friends, what the fuck are you after all those years?_

“Please talk, I missed the sound of your voice,” Hyunwoo answered quietly, preparing the machine and supplies, thankful that the skinny man couldn't stare at him with that piercing gaze of his.

“I missed you too. A lot. I was a little sad that you never contacted me after that graduation party. After all I had written my phone number on your palm, but you never wrote nor called. Of course, it was rather awkward after everything that happened but I still hoped. At least a little.” Minhyuk spoke calmly and it was difficult to determine the emotional state of the other, voice more adorable than anything else, as if on purpose.

“I still have your letter. But I'm also still the person I was back then I guess, awkward and without having a proper reaction to things. I'm sorry.” Placing the needle into the machine he sighed. “Why is it such a mess? I don't understand.”

“I’ll take that to mean you enjoyed the letter, you enjoyed the kiss, but don't have the words the express it? It's enough for me to know, Hyunwoo.” A hand slipped away from the arm and curled around his thigh. “It just means that I won't bother holding back with you.”

_Fuck._

He was so thankful that his body didn't give in as easily. On the other hand, Minhyuk had probably known that, lips curled in a knowing smile as the delicate hand dug into his muscles.

“That didn't sound like a threat although I'd like to know what you meant by holding back when I'm the one with a needle.” He leaned in and started drawing lines with the tattoo machine, buzzing spreading throughout the studio.

“I will touch you whenever I want to.”

_Wasn't it always like this?_

He suddenly thought about the one time they had kissed. Minhyuk had lost a bet back then, wearing this ridiculously tight cat woman costume with the mask, thinking that Hyunwoo didn't know who he was, moist lips and the characteristic smile being more than sufficient to know. They had danced and he had had one vodka too many, but not enough to forget what he was doing. He had known, he had been painfully aware of everything, but Minhyuk must've thought that he had found out much later.

_He's mistaken, you're the trickster._

The latex had been cold under his fingers when he had hugged the rather thin waist, pressing his lips against the pretty ones, dark brown eyes blinking unevenly before they closed and he felt the slim arms curling around his neck, lips parting and body pressing closer against him. Minhyuk had tasted like gin tonic, the special fragrance remaining, that scent that managed to stay until now, persisting in his memory after all those years. He wondered how the beautiful man tasted now.

“I'm used to that. Yes, I might have enjoyed it back then,” he answered, needle adding details to the beautiful petals gracing the pale shoulder.

“Who knows. Maybe you would also enjoy it now.” Minhyuk’s voice got a little lower, but still remained pleasant, fingers digging into his thighs and stroking along them. “I never expected to see you again, Hyunwoo. I thought I was the only one who stayed in the same city, thinking the same thoughts and making the same mistakes.”

The way his heartbeat sped up at the words proved Minhyuk was right all along. Placing tiny dots along the orchid, he inhaled sharply.

“Who knows. But now you know that you weren't the only one. I can't believe you met Hoseok before you met me. How small is this world anyway?” He turned the machine off, soaking the tissue in water and wiping over the inked skin, slightly red.

“Hoseok and I just ended up in the same place more often than the two of us. Luckily our paths crossed after all, even if it is through the connection to our friend. Although I have to admit that Hyungwon is a little more complicated than that. I still can't believe that he and I had gotten so close.” The other man’s delicate fingers stroked over his hip, remaining there and drawing small circles. “I wonder what your skin feels like.”

“So that's something you don't remember? You did touch me enough back then to know.” He picked up the machine and the familiar buzzing filled the room.

“It was only once properly. At the graduation party and not without clothes, big one. That's not the same.” There was a quiet chuckle but the body stayed still. “I remember the kiss. Perfectly. My mind works differently than yours I think.”

“I can remember everything, don't underestimate my mind.” He didn't even know what he had wanted to prove and if there had been something to prove in the first place. Licking over his lips, he drew the outlines of another flower, the last one.

“I'm not underestimating your mind, Hyunwoo. I just want you to speak it.” The words turned a little harsher, more demanding. It was a little strange with how fragile the other man appeared lying on his tattoo table. “Do you want to see me again after this? Yes or no?”

“Yes, why wouldn't I want to see you, is there a particular reason?”

_Because there is something up with you two, still, after all those years nothing changed._

“Because after the kiss you ran away, Hyunwoo. Ran away and didn't bother to contact me and I think now, when you are in the middle of inking my back, is a superb time to ask you a very important question. It is a question that has occupied me a great deal over the past years and I dare say some of it has even made it into my literary works.” There was a break as Minhyuk inhaled, hand letting go of Hyunwoo’s hip and returning to the tattoo table. “Why?”

_Oh no, you can't even go anywhere and hide from all this._

He hissed, tilting his head at the uncomfortable feeling that spread inside his body, settling inside his chest. He didn't want to talk about it and he didn't want to think.

_But what if it's fine? Just tell him why you did it and it'll be clear._

“You want to know why I ran away back then? I just didn't know what to do I guess, I had acted on urges but as I found myself in the middle of it, it scared me. It had required some course of action and I didn't have one. Besides fleeing that is. What did you expect me to do, Minhyuk?” he asked back, body as always so calm and staying unbothered, helping him to stay sane although his thoughts were jumping among the memories, creating an emotional response he felt uncomfortable with.

“To either tell me that it was a mistake and I shouldn't build up hopes or to tell me that you felt the same when we kissed, some kind of connection. I don't mean the romantic kind that people experience in books or movies, a type of epiphany or spark that burns them to the ground. I'm not talking about that at all. I'm not even sure if I believe any of that, real life tends to be intense without hyperboles.” There was a sigh as Minhyuk turned his head to the side, attempting to see more of him. “What I'm talking about is a particular feeling of ‘rightness’, like whatever happened is perfectly fine that way because it felt ‘right’ when it happened. To me it had felt like something that both of us wanted, warmth and pleasant perceptions remaining in my memories until today. I only wanted you to tell me if it's the same for you or if I was the only one suffering from constant affection towards people that don't return my feelings. Until now the bad luck is going pretty strong, the past ten years even.”

“But you have to be strong to be able to determine what's right or wrong, a solid base of - of experience or I don't know, a framework how to make that decision. Of course, it felt right, why would I've done it otherwise? It doesn't make sense.” Hyunwoo didn't know what he had wanted more, to finish the tattoo and not leave more room for questions, or leave the man on the tattoo table for a little longer, to not be confronted with his hands, the uneven blinking eyes and those lips.

“For all of that you need to open your mouth, Hyunwoo. But I keep forgetting that I'm the one who talks among us. I don't want you to feel like I'm really blaming you, I don't. You were young and so was I and at first I strongly believed that I must have jumped you and forced you into something instead of what my memory told me.” Minhyuk paused to moisten his lips, voice more unstable than it had been before. “Either way the important part is the now, the current situation, the way we interact at this moment. I'm curious whether the ‘rightness’ has changed, Hyunwoo. I want to know whether you have changed when it comes to confronting feelings like that. I don't hesitate anymore and I don't intend on starting again.”

The words were heavy, very heavy, it was an emotionally loaded question even for someone like him. He must've hurt Minhyuk back then, of course he had thought about it, but the fear of the unknown had been stronger, sliding into feigned ignorance. He didn't know what to answer or what to say, turning off the machine and staring down at the handsome man on the table in front of him. Seeing how the other had opened his mouth to say something, he placed his left hand against the well-shaped lips, shutting the black-haired man up and leaned in, sucking in the fragrance.

_Your favorite scent._

The lean body tensed for a few seconds before Minhyuk released his arms from underneath his head, lifting himself from the table and brushed his hand away. Sitting up, Minhyuk curled his arms around Hyunwoo’s neck and pulled him closer towards his delicate neck, drowning him further in the mesmerizing scent.

“If words aren't what you can express yourself with, do it differently, Hyunwoo,” Minhyuk whispered and didn't hesitate before he pressed his lips to the area right below Hyunwoo’s left ear.

_Did you fear that it'd turn out like this? Or that it wouldn't turn out like this?_

_Hypocrite._

He placed both arms on the leather, grabbing the edge and pinning the slim body between them. His face was still in the crook of the other man's neck, fragrance absolutely intoxicating. He didn't lift it, a little scared of the possible look in the intense eyes if he glanced up.

The fingers of Minhyuk’s right hand that had rested on his shoulders slipped into his black hair instead, pulling at it with enough strength to be unpleasant.

“Don't be a coward, Hyunwoo. Look at me.”

There was no escape from Lee Minhyuk, he should've known it by heart. It was a set rule. Glancing up he focused his gaze on the dark brown eyes, looking at him intently as an exhale left his parted lips, faces right in front of each other.

“I- I have to put cream on your tattoo and foil and also tell you how to take care of it.”

The intense gaze remained as the other man's hand slid from his broad shoulders, along his collar bones to his chin, while the other remained intertwined with the black strands. Minhyuk grabbed his jaw tightly between his thumb and index finger and turned his face so that they were perfectly aligned, eyes scanning him without mercy.

“Listen up, big one. I'm going to kiss you now, just the way I want to and there is only one thing you need to do. I want you to give me a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’ once our lips part. Depending on your answer I will adjust my behavior and if necessary, won't pressure you, thereby giving you the freedom to put on that cream and send me off if that is what you really want. Understood?”

_He caught you. There's no way out of this. Because you want it._

He nodded, not capable of opening his mouth, afraid that something stupid would come out.

A short smile graced the beautiful lips before the black-haired man sucked them into his mouth quickly to return moisture, action revealing that the other had hesitated. The hand that pulled at Hyunwoo’s hair tilted his head sufficiently to make it easy to close the distance between them. It felt a little like slow motion, dark eyes remaining fixed on him until he felt the soft mouth against his own. A few seconds passed before Minhyuk finally closed the brown orbs, blink uneven and pulled him further into the embrace.

The lips felt so soft, first only touching before they started moving along his own, in a certain rhythm, as if Minhyuk was trying to taste him, to explore him, everything through a kiss. His lips parted and the intoxicating scent of cherry, wood and vanilla mixed with the equally intoxicating taste, different than the first time they had kissed. It had been less deliberate than now.

The sensations were battling each other and he longed to touch the warm skin, but there was no alcohol and no running away.

_But you're both adults, isn't it okay if you both know what you're doing?_

_Do you know what you're doing, Hyunwoo?_

His right hand sunk into the black hair, pulling the other man closer, against better judgement. A soft whimper sounded from the pretty mouth before the lips parted and a soft tongue licked along his lower lip, asking for access. The slim body almost curled around him, reacting instantly to the display of interest and pulling his hair absentmindedly.

He kissed back, sucking the lower lip into his mouth, movements turning a little rougher and right hand travelling up to the naked shoulder, stroking over it before curling around the thin waist.

_What the fuck are you?_

Just as the sensation had appeared it parted, delicate fingers disentangling from his hair and pushing him away with unexpected strength, only the quick movement of the other man's warm tongue over his lips a reminder that they had been covered.

“Your answer,” Minhyuk whispered as the eyes opened and the dark brown color focused on Hyunwoo, hands staying on his shoulders and digging into the fabric.

_A course of action, he wants one and you have no fucking idea._

“What does a ’yes’ mean?” he asked, licking over his lips and trying to preserve the taste from a couple of seconds ago.

The expression on the handsome face changed, one corner of the pretty mouth lifting as Minhyuk stroked along his shoulder blade.

“That was already answer enough,” he remarked and leaned in, exhaling against his lips. Minhyuk kept the proximity for a few heartbeats before pushing him away suddenly and turning around. “Go ahead. You wanted to apply cream, didn't you?”

_Lee Minhyuk, this person._

Of course, there was no answer, no clarification, no course of action or an explanation of why the other had kissed him and what it meant that he had wanted to say yes. Minhyuk just left him confused and left to deal with the aftermath. Alone.

Walking over to the supplies he stared at the wall for a couple of moments, brain still processing the feeling of the soft lips against his ear and mouth, warm tongue and the lean body attaching itself to his, reactions immediate and obvious. Just like his own.

_You're still very much into this whole thing. It just got more complicated._

He grabbed the cream and foil and returned to the black tattoo table, the beautiful, half naked man still sitting on top of it and scanning his expressions.

“A ‘yes’ means interest, Hyunwoo, which is something that you have. That was everything I needed to know,” Minhyuk commented and stood up, turning around and revealing how the orchid stretched along the beautiful back.

“How is that different from ten years ago? Isn't it the same? How is it even relevant? Did it change only because I said yes?” The concept wasn't clear to him at all, neither was the reason for Minhyuk being satisfied with the outcome.

_Maybe he doesn't have interest in you? Maybe he just wanted to make sure that you're still infatuated, for fun._

There was a pause as the other man turned back around, watching his facial expression and contemplating his answer. Neither a smile nor a grin graced his features.

“Ten years ago, I couldn't have known because you ran away and I haven't seen you since then, it could have been something momentary, not something that stays. Seeing the exact same thing with more maturity and calm despite the same intensity tells me that I might not have to give up for once.” Suddenly a bright smile returned, immediately lighting up the features beautifully as the attractive man placed a sudden kiss on his cheek. “I will be expecting you to call me after this, Hyunwoo. Don't disappoint me again.”

_Oh no._

“But I hate phone calls because I don't know what to say,” he whined for no reason, turning Minhyuk back to apply cream, frustrated at the way the handsome man had been able to influence his mood. “Of course, I ran away, because you make me into this confused mess and I can't stand that.”

There was no reply as his hands massaged the cream into the soft skin, careful to not irritate it any further. Only when he had attached the foil and Minhyuk turned around, his lips parted for an answer.

“Isn't it good that I have a particular talent for explaining then, big boy?” the pleasant voice asked as the slim arms curled around his neck again, contrary to the frustration he had expressed earlier. The pretty lips pulled into a thin line until the eyes widened a little and Minhyuk moved closer to his ear, exhaling into it.

“You hate being confused? I liked you back then and seeing you again only drowns me in what I felt before, Hyunwoo. Everything that I have loved about you remained and instead of giving up and melting in my misery of not having you I decided to act on the interest I see in you now. I hate repeating mistakes and I don't intend on doing that now. If you had said ‘no’ I would have given up, but you didn't, so here I am. What else are you confused about?”

“That's not it, Minhyuk.” A sharp exhale left his parted lips as his body enjoyed the contact the other man was gifting him with. “I'm confused because of what you do to me.”

There was a slight change in the dark gaze that was focused on him, the other man leaning closer until he was almost too close to see sharply, lips brushing against each other. 

“You're confused? Then how about you let go and I will drive you mad instead, big boy.”

_You're already mad, aren't you?_

_

 

 

Hyunwoo really hated phone calls, he didn't know what to say and the other person couldn't see his face so he only called if there was something to share. With Hoseok it had been easy, interactions simple and without any second thoughts. He couldn't believe he had been trying to give his best friend relationship advice while he himself sat in front of his phone for an hour, contemplating what he would tell Minhyuk if he decided to press the fucking call button.

_Just call and tell him that you are an idiot. That's an actual fact._

In the end he just typed a message, telling the black-haired man that he was physically not in the condition to make a phone call. There had been no answer for an hour before he typed another one, asking about how the tattoo was healing and whether Minhyuk had enough cream. It was frustrating, as if the handsome man did it on purpose, ignoring his messages and not answering any of them. His thoughts circled around the way the soft lips had felt against his own, tasting him in such a sensual manner, the response Minhyuk had been able to evoke in his mind and body made him curious and longing for more.

It seemed as if his sexuality had turned into soup and Lee Minhyuk was slurping it while grinning shamelessly.

After another three days he asked Hyungwon for Minhyuk’s address, earning a surprised look and questions about his reasons. Reasons? He didn't really have any, he pulled the story with the orchids out of his ass, telling Hoseok’s awkward boyfriend that he needed to bring Minhyuk more cream for the tattoo. It was already 9PM when he walked up to the building, finding the apartment number and pressing the bell, cream in his hand. He felt absolutely unprepared, no matter how many times he had tried to simulate the outcome, for the handsome man's reaction to his visit.

_It's not Lee Minhyuk if it doesn't hit you like a wrecking ball right into the face._

_The best._

The door opened surprisingly quickly, delicate hands putting enough strength into the action to almost rip it off the hinges. The black hair fell loosely over the other man's forehead, tight ripped jeans and a simple white shirt gracing the slim body.

“Is everything okay?” Minhyuk muttered immediately. It seemed like the other man had expected someone else before the dark eyes focused on him, gaze travelling downwards until it returned to his eyes, small smile pulling at the curved edges despite the prior surprise. “Hyunwoo? What justified the rather elaborate stalking to find out my address?”

_Did he just call you a stalker? You need to adjust your expectations._

There were no words so he just held the cream in front of the handsome face, thinking about what to say next, hoping Minhyuk wouldn’t grab it and turn it against him in an instant.

“You didn't answer about the cream so I thought you needed more. I asked Hyungwon, he told me where you live.”

The smile only got brighter the longer he talked, pretty hands reaching for his neck instead of the cream and pulling him inside the apartment, rising up on his tiptoes a little bit as he did so.

“I really appreciate the effort you must have put into this, Hyunwoo. There is no way that Hyungwon would have told you without requesting a specific reason as to why you want to see me including a detailed timeline and further pertinent information. Thank you for going that far just to come here.” Minhyuk placed a kiss on his cheek and let go, walking along the fully decorated hallway, covered in bookshelves and disappearing into another room. A few seconds passed during which Hyunwoo stood around awkwardly, unsure what to do until Minhyuk reappeared with a familiar bag, the same one that he had received after the tattoo session a week ago.

“Lovely that you brought me another one. I can add it to the other two creams you had thrown into my bag in a panic as I was leaving. You are really sweet, Hyunwoo. Would you like something to drink?”

Smiling beautifully the other man placed the cream into the bag and put it on one of the shelves, arms crossed in front of his chest and eyes focused on Hyunwoo, still standing around in the middle of the hallway.

“Yes, I'd like something to drink, preferably something that'll make me feel less embarrassed please.” He watched the other man. It was strange, Minhyuk was rather slim but the energy and intensity of his gaze was mesmerizing, pretty lips curled in a winning smile.

“I will have to disappoint you as I don’t drink. I can barely hold a beer so I have coffee, green tea, which happens to be my drink of choice when I write, and some various types of juices that are only in my fridge because my niece visits and doesn’t drink anything else. Preferences?” Chuckling briefly Minhyuk grabbed his hand and pulled him into the kitchen, pushing him on a chair and opening the fridge with a questioning gaze. “Excuse me if I am a little distracted. I was in the middle of describing a rather detailed murder and it's a little crazy to have the person I like pop up in front of my door right after. Makes me think that I have to knock you out with a barge pole and tie you to the bed.”

“I wouldn't be surprised,” he commented distractedly, eyes widening immediately at the realization that he had said it out loud. The pretty eyes narrowed as Minhyuk closed the fridge again and walked towards him, delicate palm landing on his thighs and face coming gradually closer until there were only a centimeter or two between their noses.

“Is that the ‘good’ kind of not being surprised or the ‘bad’ kind? I have to admit that you surprise me there, Hyunwoo. I thought I had figured you out but here you are accusing me of murderous intent. An intent you appear to not mind all that much.”

“I guess it's not being surprised because everything you do is surprising,” he whispered, leaning back a little, the wall halting the movement.

_Wait, he said he likes you, Hyunwoo. Oh god._

The other man watched his features carefully, as if he was trying to figure something out, head tilting in question before lips pressed against his for a split second. There was the intoxicating scent mixed with the pleasant softness of the pink lips until all of that was ripped away again, Minhyuk standing up properly and reopening the fridge.

“So, your drink of choice?”

He kept staring at the broad back, licking his lips trying to keep the taste a little longer.

“Coffee. But if you like me, why didn't you answer?” he asked, eyes focused on the way the body moved in front of him.

There was a loud sigh as the black-haired man grabbed a cup from a white cupboard next to the fridge and put it under a tiny coffee machine, choosing a capsule, he placed one inside. After activating the button for the cup to be filled, Minhyuk turned back around and leaned against the counter, elbows resting next to his hips.

“Because I am a little tired of getting hurt, Hyunwoo. I wanted to see if it is worth the effort for you, worth either going past a dislike for calling or the lack of messages on my side and apparently it was.” There was a sudden smile again, impossibly bright and cheerful, eyes turning into crescents and facial features a little manlier due to the prominent cheekbones. “Which happens to make me very happy.”

“You think that I'll hurt you?” Hyunwoo wanted to touch the handsome man, or let himself be touched, it didn't matter, but the distance had somehow become too much.

“I worried about that. I have a tendency to fall in love with people who don’t feel the same but don’t let me go either.” Despite the words the smile remained as Minhyuk seemed to examine his features again, taking the filled cup and stepping closer, placing it in front of Hyunwoo. “But you are a little different, more open in what you feel even if you don't say it. You speak with actions and that’s what I tried to see by not responding. But to get everything out in the open, do you like me, Hyunwoo?”

Minhyuk remained standing right in front of him, one hand on the table.

“I think so, but I want to know more about you.” He hesitated, like always if something was about to have behavioral consequences he couldn't predict. “What do you expect?”

“Don’t be scared, big boy,” the slim man whispered as he curled his arms around his neck, pulling at his hair so that he was able to look him in the face properly. Minhyuk leaned down to be closer, pursing his lips before speaking. “Of course, you want to know more. Ten years have passed and we basically know nothing about each other. Nothing stays absolutely the same even if it feels like it. You appear to be the same boy that got scared after a kiss and didn’t talk to me anymore, but you are not, you are more mature and you told me why you did it, even coming here when there was no other possibility to talk to me. I expect for you to invest time and effort into getting to know me if that is what you really want, just like you have by coming here.” The pink lips brushed against his, curved mouth corners even more obvious from up close. “And I want to be close to you, Hyunwoo.”

“I want to be close to you too, it's just so confusing, I'm usually not good with new things but it's like stepping on Mars for the first time for me. I have no fucking idea how to behave to be honest.” His words were merely a whisper against the pretty lips, one hand curling around the slim arm.

Minhyuk pursed his lips again. It looked a little funny with the way the plumpness of his mouth disappeared and made him look slightly less intimidating but at the same time it showed disapproval. The other man grabbed the hand that curled around his arm and placed it on his waist instead, watching his reaction intently.

“Your words show me that you are fine with everything I mentioned apart from the closeness. But why would you be confused? Does it have to be so much different from what you know, Hyunwoo? I am sure you have been with others before, haven’t you?”

“I have, but only with women.” He stroked along the side carefully, not sure what he was allowed to do.

“I know.” The warm mouth pressed to his forehead, feeling remaining even when the touch was gone as the delicate hands played with the strands of his hair. “But the human body is rather similar, you have a male body yourself. You know how to please yourself, why would it be so difficult to please someone else? We aren’t in high school anymore, Hyunwoo. This isn’t about having to prove yourself or to show skills that you don’t even possess yet. There is no pressure like that and I won’t just drop you into this like into an erupting volcano.”

He looked up after hearing the words and almost started laughing.

“You are an erupting volcano, Minhyuk, what are you even talking about?”

There was a chuckle as the other man put a little bit more distance between them to be able to look at his face properly, lips curling up further.

“That is a different topic. That is just your impression of my personality, which you happen to like, so don’t you dare complain after telling me that you like me. I am trying to solve your problems so saying ‘you are complicated’ doesn’t help there. I would need to know exactly what you struggle with so I can adjust, big boy and thereby make sure that you are comfortable. My point is that if you need time, I’ll give you time and if you need support then you will get it. I don’t expect you to blow my mind, you already do that by existing.” As if Minhyuk considered the discussion done he just pressed himself closer and bridged the distance, lips warm against his and pink tongue licking along his lower lip, requesting to deepen the kiss as the delicate hands tilted his head by pulling at the black strands.

Hyunwoo didn’t even notice how his hands had curled around the thin waist, pressing the other man’s body closer and licking inside the addicting mouth. It tasted like green tea with lemon, addicting.

“Just like that,” Minhyuk murmured against his mouth and lifted up his right leg, placing it on top of his thighs to have more leverage and kissing him from above. The black-haired man met his tongue halfway and easily took control, fingers pulling his hair rhythmically, like it was meant to have a purpose beyond that of an automatic reaction to the way the contact felt. It was as if Minhyuk had played him, like an instrument, pressing a key, pulling a string, easily without making it obvious.

“Ah, I have no idea what I’m doing, but I also can’t stop.” He breathed between the kisses, raking a hand through the black hair and asking himself whether his natural roughness was okay.

“Don’t stop. Just keep in mind that I am not as delicate as you might think,” Minhyuk gasped in reply and pulled at his hair roughly, pain shooting through his neck and along his back before finally disappearing, making room for the sensation of warm lips against his again. Holding on tight the other man climbed up further, resting entirely with both knees on top of his thighs as he licked over his lips and bit down on the lower one.

Hyunwoo exhaled roughly, Minhyuk was driving him mad, more than mad. He had loved the ruthless actions and the demanding nature back in high school, but the demanding had transformed into a more mature and more attractive trait, one that he was now using like a sharp knife to stab him just when he expected it the least.

“You have no idea how much I want to make you feel good, big boy,” Minhyuk whispered and switched the way he sat on top of his thighs, letting his shins drop to the side and merely sitting on his lap, scratching along his shoulder and pressing their chests against each other while biting down on his lower lip again, harshly. “I’ll teach you everything you need to know if you want.”

His lips went for the delicate neck, nibbling on the curvy ear, humming in agreement because he was already way too deep to say no. He didn’t want to say no, he wanted Minhyuk.

“You- you really need to tell me what you like, I feel like a three-year-old in a candy shop, everything is fucking delicious but I can’t reach it.”

Minhyuk chuckled lowly, vibration traceable through his lips that Hyunwoo pressed to the beautiful neck.

“I will give you a whole lecture if you like, babe,” the sneaky man murmured and rolled his hips forward, hands staying around his neck and blunt nails scratching along the surface of his shoulder blade.

_Skin, you need to touch more._

He didn’t really think anything through before pulling the white shirt over the other man’s head, sight already familiar from the tattooing session which prevented him from freaking out.

Minhyuk smiled into the kiss, nibbling on Hyunwoo’s bottom lip as he grabbed his palm and placed it on top of the rather broad shoulder for his build, guiding it downwards along the chest and the defined abdominal muscles to the thighs before moving back up. Throughout the whole action their lips didn’t part, just the quicker exhales revealing that it had an effect on the beautiful man on his lap.

“I like the way your hands feel. They aren’t completely smooth but have something rough to them. It suits your body but it’s in contrast with your face and some of your behavior. It is absolutely fascinating and makes me want to feel more of it.”

“I have no idea what I’m doing and I might freak out so sorry for that in advance.” He really didn’t want to hurt Minhyuk with his reactions that could be very rough and ignorant sometimes, especially if he didn’t feel safe, which he admittedly didn’t at all. It felt like a rollercoaster with a loop. Hanging with his head upside down and trying not to fucking die.

“It’s okay, big one, I’ll understand,” Minhyuk whispered and broke the kiss, watching him intently but still holding his hair in a tight grip. “Would you like to stop?”

Hyunwoo sighed, hand roaming over the naked skin in front of him.

“Well, what do you think?”

The following laugh was loud, smile bright and turning into a grin fluently as the other man rolled his hips again.

“Biology says ‘no’, but the mind tends to want to fight biology once in a while. I don’t know how big of deal that is with you. I am confident that I can change your mind within a few seconds, but I don’t want you to feel forced into it in the end. I told you that I am a little tired of playing games, which is why I just tell you everything openly.”

He leaned into the crook of Minhyuk’s neck, ignoring the pain it caused with the delicate hands holding onto his hair mercilessly and sucked in a long breath, basking in the fascinating mixture of different fragrances making the other man’s scent so special and especially delicious.

“I love how you smell, so good.”

“I love the expression on your face when you concentrate on something, it’s as if you are a different person, the childlike innocence that your facial features show disappears and transforms into something more mature and thoughtful. That’s what always fascinated me about you. It’s clear that there is so much more than what reaches the surface and I love it, how you are so open but at the same time the openness isn’t complete because not even you have access to what lies beyond. I want to find it with you, Hyunwoo.” Minhyuk stroked over his hair, loosening the grip and exhaling softly, warm air tickling his skin. “I want to see you more often. I promise I will reply to your texts from now on. I will write so much that you might even get tired of it.”

Shaking his head, he smiled and looked up, dark brown eyes a little wider than usual and soft lips full of color after their kisses.

“I missed all those things. I didn’t consciously miss them, but realized that I did as soon as I saw you walking into my studio. I recognized you first, remember.” The sight had filled his chest with warmth, the uneven blink that he liked so much, happy that he was able to see it again from up close.

“I- I tried to distract myself a lot, so my attention had been on other aspects of my life. I hope you aren’t upset that I didn’t recognize you immediately, after all you changed more than I did. You got even broader and only your face remained the same, even if some of the expressions changed. But you’re just as awkward, that’s for sure.” Minhyuk laughed and blinked again, pursing his lips and pressing a kiss to his nose. “You really are sweet. I’m glad that you missed me although we had never been that close.”

_He was never that close to you, but you know exactly how he moved, how he smiled and his expressions, the way he wrote and thought, all of it._

“We’ve never been close in your sense of close. I can still draw your hand holding the black pen, just like the dimples when you pull your lips into your mouth, the way your eye shape changes when you’re becoming playful or think about something nasty. All of it.” He looked to the side, a little embarrassed at his own confession.

“Aren’t we an artistic bunch?” Minhyuk commented lightly and climbed off his lap, leaving the skin that had been burning from the caresses cold. He sat down on the table and took a sip from the coffee that Hyunwoo hadn’t touched yet. “I also know everything about you. I lied when I said that I have seen a few of your competitions. I have seen each and every one of them, basically in the first row and taking pictures so I could describe the way you move in the water better. I had a whole folder with handwritten scenarios in which I confessed to you, or managed to become really close friends with you or told you how fascinated I am by the way you can make your body move or how I show you how much better than that ginger-haired girl you were dating I could make you feel. A lot of things that were safely hidden away to never be found and embarrass me in public. Teenager things, I guess. I really, really liked you back then, Hyunwoo and I still do. It is just less delusional now.”

“Ah, it was easier back then because I could just run away without thinking.” He chuckled and smiled at the mutual confession, making him extraordinary happy. He stood up and pulled the black-haired man into a tight hug, squishing the slim upper body a little.

Minhyuk immediately hugged back, applying immense pressure despite the slim build and burying his face in the crook of his neck.

“Thank-fucking-god,” he murmured, but the smile was audible from his voice, fingers playing with the fabric under them. “But now that I am shirtless, and you aren’t, you could just as well apply some cream for me. It’s kinda hard to reach on my own and Hyungwon doesn’t want to touch me, religiously.”

“He shouldn’t, he has Hoseok. Isn’t he greedy?” He turned Minhyuk around, eager to apply cream, happy about the tattoo healing perfectly. Just then his phone vibrated, pulling it out of his pocket he stared at the short message he had sent his best friend.

‘So, what do you normally do if you have a dude over?’

Scrolling down he almost choked on his spit, huffing out loud because he wasn’t able to contain his response to the rude reply.

‘I fuck him? Duh.’

He had approximately two seconds to stare at the message before the phone was ripped from his grip. Minhyuk moistened his lips and grinned as he purposely stepped further away to avoid Hyunwoo taking the device back.

“You could have just asked me what I usually do when I have a ‘dude over’,” Minhyuk commented and laughed loudly, almost falling over as he tried to catch himself. “I really love you, Hyunwoo. You are impossibly sweet. Just do what you feel like, who cares what other people do? If Hoseok has fun fucking ‘dudes’ when he has them over, let him and do your own thing.”

_Now he loves you? What’s that relationship progress? Are you even in a relationship?_

There was a short smirk and a rather nasty expression that passed over the pretty features as Minhyuk pressed his lips into a thin line and widened his eyes a little.

“Although to his defense I gotta say my answer would have been the same.”

His mouth opened wide before he closed it and walked over, ripping his phone out of the delicate hand, eyes closing while trying to hide from all the images inside his head.

“Amazing, thank you for this information.” Grabbing the coffee nonchalantly, he almost spilled it over his own white shirt. The day was really a shit show.

Minhyuk smiled as he walked over to him, stroking over his hair once and pursing his lips again, beautiful fingers stabilizing the cup and placing it back on the table. When there wasn’t an immediate reaction the other man grabbed his face with both of his soft palms and turned it towards himself, staring at him.

“You don’t have to fuck anybody if you don’t like, Hyunwoo. Please don’t freak out because of useless things. We can do a lot of things, I like reading out loud, I could show you a poem I wrote, we could go to the cinema, talk about what we have been up to the past years, how you managed to work at such a famous tattoo studio despite being so young still. There are really a lot of things and I am curious about all of them, big boy. I want you to draw me.”

_Yes._

Hyunwoo wanted to draw him, so bad. He really didn't know about fucking because he simply didn't have enough imagination for that, but bringing the beautiful features on paper was something that let euphoria settle inside his chest.

“I'd love to.”

Minhyuk smiled again, brushing the pretty hands through his hair before he stepped away and gestured at his surroundings, taking a simple black rollerball pen and a white sheet of paper out of a drawer.

“I got paper, I got pens, I got myself. Where and how do you want all those things?”

“Here, now?” His eyes widened in surprise as he tried to think whether it was a good idea but there were no arguments against it.

Minhyuk laughed loudly and handed him the pen and the paper, still grinning as he just stood in the middle of the kitchen and appeared at a loss.

“Right now? Just like this?”

“Do you want me to draw your face, or-” He paused, looking over the half-naked body and wondering how the other man looked naked. For artistic purposes.

The beautiful dark eyes widened in surprise before a grin appeared. Minhyuk jumped up on the kitchen table and spread his legs demonstratively.

“Are you telling me that you want to draw me naked?” The teasing man moistened his lips again before digging his index finger under his own waistband. “I'm all in if you are.”

_What, Hyunwoo? What the fuck did you think?_

Nothing much if he was honest. He just wanted to draw Minhyuk. Smiling he looked at the ceiling, trying to get the embarrassment out of his facial expression before turning around.

“Sure, but not on the table, it looks like middle class porn, which doesn't really suit you to be honest.”

“You sure are genuine,” Minhyuk remarked, smile still in place and jumped back down, abdominal muscles flexing at the movement just like the biceps. “Where do you want me then? And are you sure that me undressing won't ruin any of your irrational bodily fantasies?”

“What fantasies? When Hoseok and I lived together he basically ran around naked because he doesn't care about other people's feelings,” Hyunwoo commented nonchalantly and looked around to determine a good place and not lose his shit in the process.

_You've already lost it, proposing to draw him naked in his apartment. What is wrong with you?_

Minhyuk hummed as if he was dissatisfied with the answer and pursed his lips, thumbs remaining in the waistband of his jeans and watching him.

“That’s not what I meant. I meant the fact that I am indeed male and in case you are still lying to yourself about that, I feel like my nudity will take your ability to do so.”

_He thinks you'd find him unattractive because he's a man. Get a grip, you were the one talking about freaking out and what not._

“Hmm, do you think I might find you unattractive?” he asked, stepping closer to the black-haired man.

“Listen up, big boy,” Minhyuk followed his action and pinched his biceps as he continued talking, sensation a little painful but not too much. “You’re the one who is having gay epiphanies. It’s not me. I am perfectly aware of what I look like and what type of person considers me attractive. I can tell that you like the way I look but this ‘liking’ can very much lead to disappointment if you haven’t thought further than the waistline, babe.” The other man sounded confident but there was something hesitant about the way he held his body, lips pulled together once he finished talking. The more time passed the stronger the other man’s grip became.

“First of all, pinch as much as you like, you know my pain tolerance is extraordinary. Second, I’m not having any gay epiphanies. I liked you ten years ago and I like you now. I might not have been attracted to other men before, but I was to you. You misunderstood, I wasn’t freaked out by you being a man, Minhyuk, I’m not dumb. I was freaked out because of my feelings towards you. Third, a body is a body, I’m someone who draws, an artist. I consider the human body beautiful regardless of gender.” He leaned in a little closer, breathing against the curved lips. “And I’m sure yours is exceptionally beautiful.”

His answer must have been unexpected as the other man suddenly let go, fingers resting calmly at his side instead of squeezing the living daylights out of his upper arm.

“I think,” Minhyuk began and exhaled against his lips. “That was the longest utterance I have ever heard from you. Wow. I am sorry for underestimating you, Hyunwoo. I told you, I’m just being extra careful, met enough assholes to worry- not like you are one- but the worry remains. Where would you like to draw my ‘exceptionally beautiful body’?”

“On the bed. I really liked the lighting there when we walked past. It’s a little sad that it’s dark already but we could do another session in daylight.” He grinned, somehow happy that Minhyuk had also been a person to worry and hesitate, despite not showing it much.

“Your facial expression makes you look a tiny bit sadistic and at the same time impossibly cute, this is rather fascinating. You could probably pull off playing an incubus in some movie.” The handsome man grinned and slipped past him, walking towards his bedroom and curling his arm towards the entrance in invitation as soon as he reached it. “You’re attentive. I didn’t even realize the door was open. I like white, so there is a lot of it.”

As soon as Hyunwoo had walked past him Minhyuk immediately loosened the button on his jeans and undid the zipper, pulling the blue fabric down his slim legs. Although he had done his best to reduce the other man’s worries the dark gaze still remained, careful as Minhyuk removed his underwear, shame definitely not the problem as he threw himself on his bed, messing up the nicely done sheets but biting down on his lower lip. He hadn’t done that yet.

_He’s beautiful._

He was. Sure, the black-haired man had immediately struck a pose, head leaning on the palm, propping up on one elbow and wiggling an eyebrow while bending one leg slowly. If he reduced the other man to his body only, without the playful devilishness and intense emotional fragility, without the facial expressions and the look in the dark brown eyes, Minhyuk would’ve still been a truly beautiful human.

_You didn’t think it’d come this far after running away back then, did you?_

He didn’t but it also didn’t matter. He dragged the chair a little closer to the bed and propped his feet on the edge, placing the big illustrated version of ‘A Midsummer Night's Dream’ on his thighs, positioning the paper he put on top at the same angle as Minhyuk’s beautiful face. The light of the designer lamp threw faint shadows over the naked body creating an aesthetically pleasing tableau.

“Is there anything in particular you want me to do to bring out a particular feature or can I simply do whatever I want?” There was something teasing to the way Minhyuk asked, grin in place.

“Think about something nice and lie down so that you are comfortable and can stay in the same position for longer,” Hyunwoo answered, watching the handsome face intently.

“Alright then I could just try to develop that plotline further, the one I already mentioned to you when I got a little stuck, wondering about how to adjust the murder scene and definitely not involve a barge pole. That would be way to obvious.” Minhyuk turned on his back properly, not staring at him anymore and glanced at the ceiling, putting an arm behind his head and talking without a break, elaborating on various scenes he wanted to adjust and much more, but Hyunwoo had spaced out on the content of the words after a few sentences. The man lying on top of the grey sheets was stunning and reminded him of the sleeping Endymion.

_Art-orgasm. But you’ll need to draw the face too. When he stops taking. If he stops._

He took the time to look over the whole body, recognizing the main dynamic lines and how they intersected to create Minhyuk’s proportions. He really liked the angle, allowing him to draw the slim feet and calves, the nicely shaped hip bones, the beautiful collarbones and the stretched neck. He progressed further, drawing the main shadows, the dip of the armpit and line of the pec leading to a dark nipple. The shades of the collarbones looked sharp like blades and the outlines of the tiny muscles on the side surprised him with the way they were defined and visible, although Minhyuk hadn’t seemed like a person who had strength. The angle of the propped-up leg looked mesmerizing in the lighting, and taking his breath away. He wondered how it would feel to touch the prominent hip bone as he drew the shadow it threw towards the groin, tiny veins covering it.

_But he needs to stop talking so you can draw the profile._

Hyunwoo stood up and sat down on the edge of the bed, staring at the handsome, naked man and waiting until the other was finished talking.

“- and that is why it is impossibly difficult to describe a scene that you have in your mind but never actually experienced as such, stuff like that is crucial- I swear. Oh, is something the matter?” Minhyuk glanced towards him and appeared a little surprised, lifting up on his elbows and staring up at him, naked legs crossing over casually.

“Well if you want your face to be a smeared mess you can continue talking, but I bet you wouldn’t be satisfied.” He chuckled and brushed a black strand behind the curled ear. “Close your eyes.”

“Oh,” Minhyuk merely commented and grinned shortly as he lay back down, glancing at the ceiling. “I’d just blame it on your skills.” It was clear that the last sentence was supposed to be ‘less talking’ with how the other man suppressed the movements of his lips, sounds resembling mumbling more than actual words.

“You’re cute.” Hyunwoo smiled, recognizing habits from when they were younger. “Still.”

“Of course, I am. I am fucking adorable, it makes everybody want to take care of me and extend my deadlines for handing in my manuscripts. It’s the best.” The other man giggled and bit down on his lip to stop and keep the expression neutral again, closing the eyes slowly. It didn’t stay for long, as the pretty lips parted and the expression started turning more and more sensual.

“It’s because they don’t know you.” Hyunwoo grinned and drew the shadow of the upper lip before continuing with the small shadow below the lower lip. The tiny dark shadows at the edges of the mouth sucked him in, just like the less prominent ones that the long eyelashes threw on Minhyuk’s cheeks. Going further over the unique shape of the other man’s ears he noticed how the adam’s apple moved, the gorgeous man probably swallowing from the tension. The longer he had looked at the delicate features, the more the overwhelming aesthetics took over his actions.

“Exactly, I’m the devil in disguise, you better watch out,” Minhyuk whispered, lifting his right hand up a little and doing a rough scratching motion as he pursed his lips again before relaxing and merely keeping a light smile on his face. “Can’t believe we are really doing this, you really are something else.”

“You’re telling me I’m something else after sitting half naked and spread legged on a table telling me to draw you naked. Really?” Hyunwoo couldn’t believe Minhyuk had really said it, shaking his head at the other man while trying hard to draw the shape of the pretty lips but the other just couldn’t shut up for even one second.

_But it’s so comfortable when he talks._

“Ah come on, that is nothing compared to actually lying naked on a bed and getting my nose stroked and my body drawn. My love life usually looks a little bit different.” Minhyuk laughed loudly and brushed a few black strands to the back, freeing his forehead. “Or it’s non-existent of course but let’s imagine the more positive case.”

“What does your love life normally look like, Minhyuk?” he asked and used the pause to finally draw the outline, filling the shape with grey, light reflections, contributing to the effect the beautiful features had on him.

“Well, non-existent.” Again, the other man laughed and played with a random strand of his hair, curling it around his beautiful index finger repeatedly as he paused for an unusually long time. “Apart from having a friend with benefits relationship for four years- while being in love with that person- I was in love with a straight guy who got married before that and before _that_ it was a guy who fell in love with someone else after a year. And going back further there was you.”

“Hm, I guess you need someone with skill, someone who knows how to treat you well. Special people need special care.” He chuckled and couldn’t refrain from tracing the jawline with his index finger, before returning back to the paper.

“Is that you- very ‘non-subtly’- promoting yourself, Son Hyunwoo?” Minhyuk raised an eyebrow, glancing at him in question. “I might be falling for it.”

He started laughing out loud, eyes turning into crescents and pen falling to the ground.

“Minhyuk, you know exactly how much I suck at all this, I’m probably the worst choice for you, honestly.”

“But that’s what I like. Everything is so clear with you, no hidden agendas, no hidden lovers and no wrong intentions. There is just you and your feelings and your confusion. That’s what I want. I’m tired of all the other bullshit, Hyunwoo.” The beautiful man pulled his body up, leaning on his arms until he sat up properly and curled them around Hyunwoo’s shoulders immediately, burying his head in the crook of his neck and inhaling sharply. “I like it more like this. You can’t be the worst choice because I saw all that already.”

_Shit, why is he so hurt, why isn’t he that person that laughs about other people’s miserable attempts at life like before?_

He put the paper aside and curled his arms around the thin waist carefully, painfully aware that the black-haired man was absolutely naked and he was supposed to be drawing and not allow feelings to hit him in the face out of nowhere.

“That’s how I Iike my men, warm and cuddly,” Minhyuk commented and leaned back, revealing the sunshine like smile and spread lips. “Come on, I’m distracting you. I want a picture to put on my wall and creep out visitors with all my drawn, naked glory.”

“I won’t give it to you. It’s mine,” he whispered, small smile playing around the corners of his lips. “Furthermore, I’m done.”

“What? Show me!” Minhyuk immediately tried to reach for the paper sneakily and Hyunwoo could see how his legs were prepared to run away if necessary.

_Well, welcome back Lee Minhyuk._

Hyunwoo took the sheet, jumped up from the bed, and walked backwards through the bedroom entrance.

“I’m intrigued to see you run after me naked, I could draw that too, at home.” He grinned.

Approximately three seconds after the words were spoken a grin spread over the pretty features and the familiar spark appeared that Hyunwoo remembered from high school. Stretching out his arms Minhyuk instantly jumped up and ran after him, legs faster and sturdier than they looked. The other man basically jumped on top of him as he hadn't been able to turn around fast enough, and buried his hands in his shoulders. He was so thankful for his sturdy body, as he almost fell over because of the jump, the drawing falling to the ground as his hands curled around the naked thighs, a little cool under his fingertips.

“You crazy person.” He exhaled against the red lips, looking up into the dark gaze, focused on his face and so incredibly intense.

“Exactly that,” Minhyuk whispered and clashed their lips together, fingers immediately intertwining with the strands of his hair and pulling harshly as the legs tightened and the crazy man appeared to have absolutely forgotten the sheet of paper he had wanted to see.

It was so intense, the way the curved lips explored his face, tongue licking inside his mouth and slim arms not hesitating to curl around his neck further, fingers testing out his tolerance and naked skin turning warmer right under his fingers. He turned around pushing the naked body against the wall and releasing one hand from the right thigh, using it to stroke along the beautiful face, neck and down to the shoulders, tracing along the smooth thigh before curling around it again. Minhyuk was driving him insane.

“You really are something else, big one,” Minhyuk whispered and seemed unwilling to part, pressing his lower body and chest closer and constantly clashing their lips together, exhales harsh with how little air remained in between. He felt how the other man’s body reacted to his ministrations, erection pressing against his abdominal muscles.

“You’re a fucking hell pit, gosh I love it.” He couldn’t help moaning at the way the fingers tightened in his hair and pulled it painfully.

“Devil’s thrill is what they call it,” Minhyuk gasped and held onto his shoulders as he pushed himself lower just to roll his hips upwards, right against his groin. He exhaled sharply at the friction, fingers tightening around the lean thighs and hips pushing the slim body further into the wall intuitively. He was really thankful for the way his body had always been able to keep him in check, moving as if on its own, knowing better than him what was the right thing to do, mind only playing along. Tracing the long neck with his lips he sunk his teeth into the delicate skin shortly.

“Does this count as getting to know me?” The delicate but fierce man scratched along his arms and almost ripped his shirt with the force he put into attempting to get it over his head. “Because I want to feel your skin against mine. Now.”

“Since when are you someone to ask things like that, Minhyuk? I’m disappointed.” Hyunwoo smiled and pressed his hips roughly against the naked man who was caught between him and the wall, freeing his hands and lifting them up, so that the delicate hands could pull the fabric over his head in a simple movement.

“How is almost ripping your clothes off ‘asking’? I just told you what I want so you can wait with the crying until later, big boy.” Once his chest was uncovered hands immediately attached to it, stroking along each rib, each hollow and the collarbones, as if he wanted to remember what it felt like to use it later. “Touch me before I rip you to shreds.”

_Holy fucking shit._

Yes, Minhyuk was a fucking tornado, it had been nothing new, but the determination and the demanding undertone was nerve wracking. All of the concerns were absolutely irrelevant because it had been exactly what he had wanted. Attaching his lips to the delicious neck, he went absolutely crazy, sucking in the intoxicating scent and biting into the soft skin, licking over it right after and enjoying how he was able to be rougher than usual.

He could feel a grin against the skin of his chest as the delicate fingers showed how much strength was behind them and pulled his head back, almost completely so that Minhyuk could tower over him, licking over his bottom lip and smirking.

“I thought that you would like that, big boy,” the addicting man exhaled against his mouth and rolled his hips again, every action meant to bring about an effect and perfectly calculated judging by the expression on the beautiful face. “But you’re not getting me today, I changed my mind. Bring me to the bed. Today you’ll be watching.”

_Watching?_

Hyunwoo sucked in a breath at the sight, contemplating whether he should just ignore the other man’s request and taste a little more of the smooth skin.

“Did I do something wrong?” he asked, making sure it hadn’t been any of his actions.

“No, I just want to see what it looks like when you are physically and mentally dying to touch me. I said ‘bed’, Hyunwoo.”

He moved away from the wall, stepping closer to the bed and thought about dropping the other man on it for a split second before looking into the brown eyes and remembering the barge pole murder, deciding for the soft sheets, placing the lean body on it carefully.

“Good boy,” Minhyuk commented, watching him carefully. The smirk on the generally curved up mouth revealed that the other man must have been aware of his thoughts, stroking along his arm sensually before he pointed at a red leather chair in the corner, standing right next to the desk. “Sit down.”

He did, spreading his legs, painfully aware of the fact that he was hard and watched the beautiful man carefully.

It was clear how much Minhyuk enjoyed the situation as soon as he sat down, eyes watching him as they narrowed and the other man pulled his lips into his mouth to lick over them, reappearing with a light shimmer. He lay down on the bed, so that Hyunwoo could see him perfectly. Inhaling slowly while a small smile danced over his lips the personification of attraction stroked over his own chest, travelling lower at a slow pace, brushing over abdominal muscles, caressing hip bones and inner thighs, hissing as he got dangerously close to his erection.

_It’s a show, Hyunwoo. He’ll fucking torture you, hallelujah._

“Aren’t you afraid of karma, Min?” Hyunwoo asked, voice low and sounding a little strained.

“Karma can come and suck my dick,” the other man hissed as he closed his eyes and curled his delicate hand around his erection, thumb resting at the tip while the remaining fingers only gave it light brushes, not quite stimulating properly yet. Inhaling slowly, chest visibly rising, the thumb began drawing circles on the wet tip, evoking soft gasps from the pretty lips. “Your hands are probably much rougher than this, can’t wait to find out what they feel like, big boy.”

“Tenderness is not really my specialty unless it’s about drawing,” he whispered, fingers digging into the muscles of his thighs, arousal spiking up even more, now that the naked body lay in front of him, every movement detected by his gaze.

“I love it,” Minhyuk moaned and increased the pace of his thumb, other fingers gradually joining and gripping the erection tightly. A free hand caressed his chest as eyes remained closed, focused on the pleasure. “I will be the death of you, Son Hyunwoo. How do you feel? What is it like? Talk.”

“You know I’m not someone who talks. I’m someone who does things,” he commented, pressure in his groin worsening, coil burning like a fire, fingertips itching to touch himself. Or Minhyuk. Preferably Minhyuk.

“Sweet,” the other man commented and lifted his body up, turning around and crawling towards the headrest on all fours until he sat down and leaned against it, watching him intently as he returned to what he had been doing, giving his erection a few light strokes. “And that is exactly why we will be practicing now. If you want something you have to talk, that’s how it works.”

“What would you let me do if you weren’t teaching me right now?” His eyes narrowed, gaze sliding over the naked skin, movements precise and gracious.

“Smart cookie.” Minhyuk grinned, eyes still focused although there was a little more strain in his voice. “If I didn't care much about you, you might be balls deep inside of me by now. However, I do, which is why I will show you what you could have and then I will spoil you. Just be a good boy until then.”

_What kind of fucked up logic is that?_

“Fine, how do you want the ‘good boy’ to behave?” He slid his flat palms along the ripped jeans a couple of times, trying in vain to get rid of the tension.

“Watch and tell me what you like, I'm curious. Your perception is so different, I want to hear what it's like for you, to hear how you express it in words that I can use to describe and comprehend. I'm curious how you see me, big one.” The situation was sexually loaded but Minhyuk’s response sounded rather artistic, wanting to gain understanding by making Hyunwoo put it into words. “After that you can come to me and I'll make you feel good.”

“Isn’t it simple? You’re hot, Minhyuk, everything you do is hot, the way you move your hand and the lean muscles of your arm flex, along with the pecs, how you stretch your neck, veins almost visible, spreading your legs and curling the pretty fingers around your dick. You make me want to touch you.” He closed his eyes shortly, taking a break from the images.

“Perfect,” Minhyuk commented, chucking shortly. Only when Hyunwoo had opened his eyes again the other man continued speaking, stretching out his hand towards him and beckoning him over. “You're very attentive, big boy. Come here.”

Standing on his feet he still wasn’t able to remove his gaze from the body on the grey sheets as his legs moved forward before crawling on top of the bed.

Minhyuk continued smiling, grabbing his wrist and pulling it so that he lay with his back on the bed before the slim body climbed on top of him, leaning in and exhaling against his lips.

“Let me be honest with you, I just wanted to touch you and that's the only reason you're in my bed now. I usually don't end my torture sessions early but I wanted to make you feel good and forget your own name.”

_Now he’s making you think that you’re lucky after torturing you for ten minutes._

He simply hummed, stretching out his arms and placing them around the waist, stroking over the smooth back and sides.

Minhyuk hissed, parting his lips and showing his teeth briefly as he kissed him roughly, mouth moving further along his neck and muscular chest until the pretty lips were following the path of his happy trail, tongue slipping under the waistband of his jeans.

“I love how manly you are,” the gorgeous man whispered and bit the skin roughly, hands holding onto the hips and stroking over the uncovered skin in alteration. There was no warning this time as the delicate hands quickly opened the jeans and pulled them far enough to uncover his black briefs, lips immediately mouthing along the shaft of his erection.

He hissed, hand intertwining with the black hair, while the other one was stroking along the broad shoulders.

Minhyuk didn't give him time to adjust, intentions clear as he sucked his way to the tip, stimulating it until he apparently considered it enough and pulled his briefs down, lifting his erection away from his body and covering the head with his mouth, tongue sliding along as the beautiful man sucked harshly, free hand scratching along his hip at the same time.

Hyunwoo cursed, sucking in a breath and keeping it in, lungs knowing exactly what to do in a situation like this while the mind hadn’t been prepared for the sight of the pretty curved lips around his dick. Not at all. His mouth opened and he left out a low moan.

Minhyuk let go of the tip and stroked along the whole length instead, meeting his gaze.

“I love the way you taste and sound, I basically dreamed of this since I was sixteen,” Minhyuk whispered before leaning back down and biting into his hip bone, soothing the skin with his tongue right after as his thumb dug into the slit of Hyunwoo’s dick. Inhaling quickly Minhyuk threw him a grin before deep-throating him like it was nothing, allowing his erection to hit the back of the other man's throat and hands tightening in his skin as the motion was repeated.

He felt really spoiled, the other man making him feel the pleasure boiling inside his body, threatening to spill over, but he somehow wanted it to last longer, using his strength to pull the black hair, letting his erection slip out of the warm mouth and lifting the body on top of himself, attaching his lips to the red, curved ones.

Minhyuk immediately kissed back hungrily, pulling his hair and scratching over his back, slim hips urgently pressing against his without a break.

“Trying to not burst prematurely?” the handsome man asked with a teasing undertone despite his own obvious arousal. “Too bad, I wanted to feel and see you come inside my mouth. You're being fucking tempting, I can't just jump you like this, I'm not ready and I don't want to get ready either. Take responsibility, big boy.”

_You have a dick, it can’t be that hard._

It was a mystery how Minhyuk managed to confuse him with the constant onslaught of information, not giving him time to process anything and create absolute comfort at the same time. He reached down between the other man’s legs, curling his fingers around the obvious erection, applying pressure just the same way he did it with himself, tightening at the tip and spreading precum over the head.

He was blessed with a gasp that hit his lips as the other man's body moved with the action until he caught himself, scratching along his shoulders and upper arms while closing his eyes instead.

“Holy shit, your hand feels amazing, rough as fuck, oh my god,” Minhyuk moaned and threw his head back, hips thrusting into his hand almost automatically. Sure, there were a lot of amazing and stunning things in the world, plants, flower petals, people who didn’t consider it against social norms if Hyunwoo just didn’t say anything in their presence, but Minhyuk moaning must’ve been one of his favorite ones. It was beautiful, he wanted to hear more.

His free hand travelled along the beautifully curved spine, touch firm but also sensual, fingers exploring the skin, while the other hand tried to evoke more of the arousing sounds out of the mesmerizing man on top of him.

The eyes remained closed as the slim hips continuously moved with the strokes of his hand, actions of the delicate fingers that dug into his skin increasing in ruthlessness, leaving red marks.

“You can apply more pressure,” Minhyuk gasped again and a little bit of dark brown color met his eyes, gaze almost black with the way the other man watched him, lips remaining parted in a moan. “You’re doing great, it feels amazing.”

He didn’t answer, fingers tightening around the other man’s length and hand continuing the path along the smooth back, basking in the sounds Minhyuk was making. Because of him.

The exhales got continuously rougher as the other man's eyes widened suddenly, their gaze locked. He could see Minhyuk trying to gold back and could feel how close he was judging by the way pain spread from the area the black-haired man was clutching.

“I’m close, you good?” he murmured, strain only increasing as the intensity of the moans did as well, a shiver passing through the thighs.

He nodded, picking up pace and going directly for the soft neck, licking along it and nibbling on the transition to the shoulder.

“Bite me,” the beautiful man on his lap ordered as the exhales and movements turned irregular, air appearing to be stuck in the lean chest as Minhyuk held his breath and buried his fingers in his skin. Hyunwoo complied, sinking his teeth into the warm shoulder, hand tightening in the black hair and pulling a little.

The combination must have been just what the black-haired man liked, a loud moan leaving his parted lips and a visible shiver passing through the lean body as the handsome man released himself, covering Hyunwoo’s hand and part of his abdomen.

Minhyuk was simply stunning when he came, Hyunwoo really wanted to draw him again.

Loosening his grip, he realized that there was again a course of action he was supposed to follow.

_Well at home you know where the tissues are._

Minhyuk sighed, a little bit of a tremble remaining as the other man opened his eyes and blinked several times, beautiful and uneven.

“Wait, I'll get tissues in a bit,” he commented but remained seated for a little longer before he finally reached for the bedside drawer and got a few out, wiping over his hand and stomach carefully, finishing up with his own dick. “But I like sucking dick while still being hard. You cheated and distracted me, I'll give you hell for that. Some other time.”

Grinning brightly the handsome man slipped a little further down on top of him and licked a stripe from his navel to his groin, playfulness remaining on the attractive features.

“You're hell, but you're a beautifully complex hell and I love it,” Hyunwoo whispered, a quiet moan leaving his mouth as soon as Minhyuk was close enough to his painfully hard erection.

Waiting for the perfect moment, when he had just breathed in, the sneaky man deep- throated him without a warning, evoking a loud moan as he exhaled. The short smile on the spread lips was enough of a sign that it had been intentional. Keeping up a fast rhythm, a hand slipped between his legs and massaged his balls in the process as Minhyuk sucked his way upwards just to sink down again.

“Fuck, you're driving me nuts, Min.” His voice was lower than usual, legs spreading automatically and giving the devil in disguise full access.

Minhyuk used it immediately, moving back up with a slight turn of his head which increased friction and picking up the pace as the delicate fingers massaged along the skin of his balls, pulling lightly. He was close, tightening the fingers in the black hair, he whispered, trying to push it back but failing through the merciless treatment the other man was giving him.

When his erection twitched repeatedly Minhyuk sank down completely and remained like that, sucking intently as Hyunwoo came down his throat, the swallowing motion massaging the sensitive head. It was mind blowing.

_Probably similar to getting knocked out with a barge pole._

He breathed a couple of times before pulling the sweaty body on top of himself, arms tightening around the waist and tongue licking inside the warm mouth. Minhyuk kissed back immediately, his own taste the dominant feature as the other man curled the lean arms around his neck, staying close.

The curved mouth left him as beautiful brown eyes settled on his own and a smile lit up the attractive features, cheekbones turning more prominent and eyes widening. The black-haired man didn't say a word, just stroked over his skin and smiled, expression emotional.

The familiar fragrance spread inside his nose, painting everything in the fascinating mixture, reminding him of the past and shaping the future with careful, almost invisible strokes, so mesmerizing, unknown and dangerous, just like the man in his arms, who was letting him drown.

In his favorite scent.

 

***

 

‘Your lack of brain matter is so severe that you’d probably float on water.’

Minhyuk stared at the single sentence on his page, black fountain ink on an ecologically friendly sheet of paper, one that was absolutely wasted on the semi-intellectual bullshit he was spouting. He would have attempted to add something more elaborate or more truthful to the already written words, maybe even exchange them with others to express the mindless idiocy in a more fitting way, but he couldn’t. The inability to do so wasn’t stemming from the fact that he didn’t know what to write or that he didn’t have the right expression, the expression was absolutely perfect.

_You just don’t know if it applies to you or the character you are trying to insult in your story._

Sighing he closed the fountain pen, placing it into a small leather pouch in which he kept his rather large collection of pens, and crumpled up the only barely stained sheet of paper, throwing it into the already half-filled garbage can next to his working desk. He felt sorry for the recycled piece of tree but there was nothing he could have done at this point.

Standing up he reached for his mobile phone which was strategically placed on one of the higher shelves, only reachable if he stood up and thereby perfect to not distract him from writing. Throwing a glance at the display Minhyuk immediately saw a text message, just as limited in characters as they always were, exactly four words that could have been written in an arbitrary order and carried just as much meaning as they did in the chosen one, basically none.

‘Is your tattoo fine?’

The other man had seen it a day ago, in addition to mindlessly throwing him against a wall despite it. Not to mention he had brought a third tube of cream to take care of it. There was no way Son Hyunwoo had any interest in the answer to his question.

_Is this supposed to be communication?_

Minhyuk didn’t want to answer his own question out of sheer fear that the reply would be a loud ‘yes’. Groaning, he placed the phone back without replying and threw himself on the soft sheets of his bed, still smelling a little bit like the broadly build man since it hadn’t been necessary to change them after their previous sexual endeavor.

_You want him to talk to you but don’t give him the time to talk and jump him instead. Genius._

_Not like he would have either way._

It was frustrating, just like the last few times he had wanted to achieve something and met obstacles that he hadn’t anticipated, obstacles that didn’t depend on him to be overcome. Whenever another person was involved everything just constantly went to shit, increasing complexity and rife with misunderstandings. It took more than one person to make a relationship work and it seemed like he consistently forgot that. All of the constant problems that he got himself into could have been avoided. If Minhyuk had opened his fucking mouth that is.

The right way.

Turning to the side he watched the way the thin sheets of cloth looked between his fingers, rubbing his thumb over it and wondering how fragile the fabric of a bedsheet was and whether ripping it with one hand was possible. Opposed to his usual ways when he was frustrated, he decided against trying it out physically and merely sat up to reach the bedside table, jotting down his thought on a tiny notepad with a blue ball pen.

_Put everything into perspective, Minhyuk. You’re letting him take a fucking free ride on you like every goddamn time._

Before the handsome swimmer, turned tattoo artist, had appeared in front of his front door he had been furious, angry enough to actually put the murder description he had been writing into action, just to get rid of the negative energy. However, the sweet face, absolutely compensatory reason for coming and the action of handing him the cream had distracted him from the fact that Son Hyunwoo needed a goddamn week to act on his desire to see him. A fucking week.

Had the interaction been up to Minhyuk he wouldn’t have bothered after the second day, just calling or speed walking to the other man’s apartment and slapping him across the face for not answering his text messages. But no, Hyunwoo was a soft soul, one that apparently felt confused, struggled to express his feelings with words or actions and liked to draw flowers. A very soft soul.

It was all the same, just like before, being interested in somebody, offering himself on a fucking plate, like a beautifully arranged marzipan potato tartlet, just to be nibbled on once a week and left in the fridge the rest of the time, until it became interesting again and the craving returned.

_You’re not a fucking tartlet, Minhyuk, stop acting like one._

Another glance at his phone made him want to write another murder scene, he had not received another message after ignoring the first one. It was tiring. Minhyuk liked him, he liked what he had seen until now and he felt sure that whatever lay behind the complicated facade of the inability to express himself was just as likeable as the rest, however Hyunwoo wasn’t making the whole thing easy, not answering properly to direct questions asked and not making clear his intentions either.

Was Minhyuk the only one who intended to make this work, to get to know each other and build up a proper relationship? It felt like a broken train and Minhyuk was the one trying to push it forward with the dumb belief that it would be able to carry itself the rest of the way, just like a car that only needed a little push to start the battery.

_You’re definitely not going to push this train wreck alone._

Hyunwoo was like a tree, steady, strong, able to take it when Minhyuk kicked it with force out of frustration. However, trees were also unable to move, remaining in the same place and he couldn’t help hoping that the designated place would be next to him.

Rubbing his lower lip between his index finger and thumb he grabbed his mobile phone again, opening his conversation with Hyunwoo that mainly consisted of his rather detailed elaborations and a few 3-5 words messages by the other man. Frustrating.

‘Come to the Green Park at 6PM, I’ll be waiting at the gigantic old tree on the north side. Don’t be late.’

He sent the message off and felt a little joy at the knowledge that the other man would attempt to appear on time while he himself was going to be ten minutes late, as always.

_Serves him right for not setting things straight and telling you where you stand. Stop being satisfied with everything Minhyuk. Just because he let you suck his dick, drew you and mumbled that he thinks that he kind of possibly likes you doesn’t have to mean anything._

Only a week had passed and despite his efforts he knew basically nothing about Son Hyunwoo the tattoo artist. Everything that he had collected over high school was about Son Hyunwoo the swimmer. Time changed people and there was no way that Hyunwoo had stayed the same. Minhyuk wasn’t stupid or inexperienced, it was clear that they couldn’t just suddenly meet after 10 years, start dating and feel butterflies together. But he was interested and wanted to know how the other man _actually felt_ about trying it out.

Not just unclear mumbling about possibly existing feelings but something proper, substantial, lasting, like roots that had dug their way into the earth.

Before, he had simply nodded along, cheerfully accepting lack of communication and hurt feelings just like a relationship that was only built on bodily pleasure. It was fine back then as it felt like he had received enough in return. But he was too feeble minded for such relationships, easily falling for constant affection even if it was just a tiny spark on a gigantic volcano that wasn’t about to erupt anytime soon. The spark was always enough to keep him interested, hoping for another one no matter how long it might take.

_Enough of that._

Saying exactly what he wanted and expected seemed to be the better choice. It was his current attempt, the new one, ready to work on differences and not allowing himself to be satisfied with less than he opted for.

If Son Hyunwoo needed a fist to the face to speak then that’s how it was going to be.

His rather elaborate thoughts on how he might actually do damage in case he hit the rather soft features on the other man’s face were interrupted by a short vibration, an indicator that he got another message. Curious, he grabbed the device and unlocked it, four letters gracing the screen as if they were meant to amuse him, reduce the four words that had seemed so pathetic to him to an ironic four letters only.

‘Okay’

_He must be fucking kidding you._

He groaned, throwing the phone on his bed as he sat down at his desk, grabbing a new sheet of paper and the fountain pen that he had packed away, using the time he had until the meeting to put the most gruesome description of punching someone in the face he could think of into words. One might have thought that actually liking someone wouldn’t involve rather detailed and intense wishes to hurt them, but Minhyuk often expressed his anger in written acts of violence, never actually turning them into reality. Mostly.

Even telling the other man nonchalantly that he loved him hadn’t brought about a reaction, not even a change in facial features, a raised eyebrow, anything. ‘Love’ was too strong a word of course, only fitting in scenarios where the essence of a person was known. He could clearly say that he had loved the black-haired tattoo artist in high school and that he had loved Hyungwon during the first few years of their beneficial relationship. However, it wasn’t really possible to say that about his current feelings for Hyunwoo. It was complicated.

Minhyuk was still struggling with incorporate his previous knowledge and what he had gained from meeting and ‘talking’ to the other man, learning how the two individuals differed apart from age and maturity. One might have even seen it as a stroke of fate that he had never properly talked to Hyunwoo back in high school, only working with his own observations and fantasies.

_Just make him talk, Minhyuk. It will make everything clear._

 

_

 

 

Walking along the familiar non-paved pathway he couldn’t help the smile that spread over his face, various memories of himself coming to the exact same area filling his head, reminding him of scenes he had written here, descriptions he had used and people he had watched and placed as shadow characters of themselves into his scenarios.

He was already 10 minutes late, but something told him that the maximal time that Hyunwoo waited for something had not been reached yet, patience an undying virtue as it had always been.

_Let’s see if he’ll say something._

He spotted the broad shoulders from behind, shape so familiar that he had immediately recognized it. The sturdy man was sitting on the grass cross legged, watching something on the ground below and placing careful strokes into a small sketchbook.

_He’s drawing._

Minhyuk immediately felt how his demeanor and resolutions to be strict and demanding slipped through the spaces between his fingers. Pinching the skin between his thumb and index finger he forced himself to stay strong, for the sake of his later happiness. Frowning he crossed the distance and threw himself against the tree he had pointed out, right next to the other man and loud enough to distract him from the fine lines he placed on the paper.

“Why did you come?” he asked, pulling the lips inside his mouth right after.

Hyunwoo looked up, eyes widening the same way they always did when the broad man had been surprised or confused. The plump lips parted before the low voice answered finally, sketchbook closing with a dull sound without the other man looking at it.

“Didn’t you tell me to come here? Or was the message for someone else?”

“I did,” Minhyuk commented and glanced to the side fleetingly to keep his distant facial expression. Son Hyunwoo was simply too sweet, face saying almost everything as always. “But I want to know why you came. You could have said fuck it and done whatever it is that you were doing instead. So why?”

The expression turned from surprise to confusion, big eyes looking for something in his face while the big hands were storing the sketchbook inside the black backpack.

“I don’t get it. You asked to meet up, I came and now you’re asking me why I came? I came because you wanted to meet me, isn’t it logical? I would’ve told you if I wouldn’t have been able to manage, but I did, giving a couple of appointments to Changkyun.” The muscular body rose from its position until their eyes were at the same level.

Minhyuk just stared at him, not expecting the rather elaborate response and pursing his lips at the inability to reply something immediately. Instead he grabbed the other man's shirt collar with his left fist and pulled him closer, exhaling through his nose roughly.

“I just want to understand you, big one, and until now you don't make a terrible lot of sense. Why are you up for this? Are you even up for this? Are you having regrets yet?” He sighed, loosening his grip on the collar a little bit and letting go of the tree with the other hand, arm hanging uselessly at his side. “I just don't want to be the only one who gets stuck at the depth of this while you're taking a walk on the surface without a worry.”

“Min,” the low voice whispered, strong fingers curling around his wrist to make him fully loosen the grip, knuckles still white from holding onto the collar tightly. “What it that ‘this’ you are talking about all the time? It seems as if you’ve thought about everything all by yourself without involving me and went all out with conclusions, not giving me a chance to decide, or even think about it.”

_‘This.’_

His fingers let go of the collar immediately, falling down to join the other arm at his side, muscle tonus nonexistent as he felt his eyes widen a little, processing the words.

_Did you?_

He had been sure that he made his intentions clear from the beginning, kissing the other man and asking for a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ response to judge the emotional reaction, receiving a ‘yes’ in return.

_You didn't. It wasn't a ‘yes’, he merely asked what a ‘yes’ would entail._

But Minhyuk had explained it afterwards and the reaction hadn't changed, remaining just as intrigued as it was, facial expressions showing infatuation just like the bodily motions did. There was something and Minhyuk hadn't been lying to himself, not this time. He had only acted on the interest he had seen and on his own, putting everything out in the open by talking about it instead of his constant secrecy and getting hurt all by himself.

_But did you tell him that you want to date him?_

He felt how his lips pulled into a thin line, dissatisfaction with his own planning spreading like a disease. It was like a badly plotted book, every scene complete on its own and building towards the goal just to realize that none of the characters were aware of wanting the goal and therefore didn't go for it. Like a stupid plot hole that he had forgotten to close, bleeding like an open wound and ruining everything that he had been working on during the past week.

_You're being over dramatic. Get a grip._

“Shit. The relationship, Hyunwoo. I meant the relationship. Is there even a relationship? Did I think this up?” He wanted to curse more harshly but didn't, aware of a few children playing at the side, under the age of eight and possibly not aware of the creative vocabulary that adults liked to use on a regular basis. “I wanted to date you and felt unsure on whether you wanted to try it out although we only know each other's past selves. My reasoning was that there seems to be something going on when we are together, be it feelings or tension or whatnot and I felt like that is something to work with, to possibly turn this deeper than a simply straight-turn-gay fuck and a bit of emotional skin stroking.” He purposefully said the curse words more quietly to be a respectable adult, hoping that it didn't remove the effect, watching the other man's expression carefully as he couldn't help curling his hands around the muscular upper arms.

Hyunwoo had been simply staring at his face for the whole duration of the monologue, eyes widening with each passing second and making the slightly taller man look even more like a child with the soft features, confusion spread on the handsome face like a thick tablecloth.

“You did think by yourself. The only thing you told me was that I’d have to show effort wanting to get to know you better, which I did by coming to you. And you said you wanted to be close. That was it, Minhyuk. I can remember it perfectly.” The tall man seemed to think about the next words, lips still parted and pink tongue licking over them once.

_You idiot._

The sentence that he had written on the light brown piece of paper, describing his lack of intellect returned to his mind, reminding him that leaving out a small detail had easily broken relationships, even if they hadn’t been there in the first place.

_Like not saying that you want more than a bodily relationship and quietly suffering for years._

Strong fingers curled around his wrist once again, pulling him against the broad chest.

“But tell me what it means, what dating you would mean, the relationship, what do you want from me?” Hyunwoo asked, eyes staring holes into his face with unusual intensity.

_The infatuation remains, Minhyuk. It's still there. Don't get lost in past thoughts._

Taking a deep breath, he looked up properly, meeting the large brown eyes and realizing how uncharacteristic his silence must have seemed, enough to worry the other man.

“It entails meeting me regularly and wanting to see me sooner than a week, big boy. What were you even doing for a whole f- whole week before you decided to find out my address? What would you have done if no one had told you? I was ready to stab you with a fountain pen after two days and you make me wait seven.” He stopped the flow of words, aware that he had begun to sink into his previous anger, fingers digging into the fabric of Hyunwoo’s shirt as well as the golden skin. “Why are you asking me what dating me entails? You dated before, you know what that means. I just need a lot of attention, don't know how much your previous girlfriends needed, probably not nearly enough. I want to see you a lot, a damn lot. If you offer me a few days a week I might choke you with my bare hands.”

Suddenly the plump lips spread in a triangular smile, teeth showing and eyes turning into slim crescents as his wrist was pulled rougher, bridging another couple of centimeters.

“It is weird, but I really like you when you’re angry and angry like this,” Hyunwoo commented, brushing a loose strand of hair behind his curved ear with the free hand. “Before, I didn’t have to do anything, Minhyuk. My partners just came to me, wrote me, called me. I didn’t have to do as much, but you seem to have very particular expectations which I want to know about, to be able to say whether I would be able to satisfy them.”

_That's already more than you expected._

He almost returned to his typical action of accepting everything offered just to pinch the other man instead and remember why the hell he called him to the park, standing next to his favorite tree which he had wanted to use as a dramatic way of explaining.

“I'll give you a ted talk, big boy. First of all, your partners spoiled the shit out of you and not in the good way. Second you don't need to call me or anything, I'll do that but I want more than four fucking letters in response. In addition, it is really pointless to ask me something that I already know you don't mean. Why would you bother and ask about my tattoo? You saw it and basically covered me in cream tubes, of course it's fine. If you want to talk to me just say so, or be cute and find an excuse that actually works and doesn't make me feel like you actually don't care because you ask whatever. I'm sensitive. “His throat hurt a little and one of the older kids that was playing football relatively close to where they were standing gave them a weird look so he backtracked on the curse words he used, forgetting his censoring intention. “I’m demanding, Hyunwoo. You should know that. I want someone like a tree and until now you've been doing pretty well with looking like one and barely moving but I'd love to see more of the devoted qualities too. Like staying by my side, accepting most of my bullshit which can be random outbursts and letting me climb you, but yeah, we can discuss sexual stuff later now that I realized you didn't even know that I want to date you.”

_You just drowned him in a sea of words without anything to hold on to. Genius._

The fingers retreated from his skin as the other man put some distance between them before stepping closer to the tree and leaning against it, arms crossed in front of the muscular chest.

_Is he trying to melt into it?_

“I guess I also thought by myself. I think I missed you so I drew orchids, a lot, then I remembered how I inked them onto your skin, what it looked like after I was done. I wanted to see it again and all of the thoughts don’t fit into a message so I wrote the essence.” The brown eyes were staring into nothing while the other man was talking. “Do you think dating me is a good idea?”

_Will you be able to make this work?_

“Yes, although at this point, I'm rather convinced I might need a dictionary for your messages.” A smile passed his lips, feeling warm at the sign of affection that he hadn't understood and closing the distance to embrace the other man, burying his head in the crook of his neck and enjoying the proximity without the need to prove anything. “I’m deciding based on my gut feeling, Hyunwoo and my gut feeling likes you and your inability to talk in addition to your facial expressions and attractive way your body moves. It tends to be rather elaborate. Do you want to date me though? Little disclaimer, you'll get hit if you use ‘I think’.”

“At this point I want to be next to you despite constant threats of bodily damage, which are by the way ridiculous considering your body type. So yes? But I will suck at this, thank you for your understanding.” He felt a warm palm stroking over his shoulder blades down to the lower back.

He was conflicted in trying to choose a facial expression, a little like in preparation for a masquerade, struggling to determine the one that expressed his emotions best. The choice lay between a smile at the genuine wish to be next to him that the other man uttered, a playful grin at the naive belief that his body type kept him from hurting the black-haired man physically and lastly a pout at the fact that he didn't want to scare children and couldn't squish Hyunwoo out of sheer happiness. Moisturizing his lips, he decided for the grin, wiggling his eyebrows while pinching the skin he could reach.

“Sucking can be a good thing, but don't worry, I'll give you a lecture whenever I'm dissatisfied. Also, have you forgotten that I'm fucking adorable? This is just a disguise to be underestimated and be able to stab you in the eye with a fountain pen in case I'm angry.”

“I really like it when you’re angry, but don’t just assume things, my mind just tends to be much more complicated than my semantic expressions and communicative capabilities.” A small smile spread on the soft features.

_You might be the one underestimating him._

It was beautiful and Minhyuk reached out with his index finger to touch it, sliding the digit along the warm skin and returning the sign of happiness through a smile of his own.

“Does my sexual encounter with Hoseok make you uncomfortable? I kept wondering,” he asked after placing a short kiss on the very plump lips, easily covering his own without much effort and addictingly soft to the touch.

“It didn’t, well until you just mentioned it that is, now I have to think about it, it’s weird.” The brown eyes closed shortly, head shaking in disagreement.

Minhyuk couldn't help the loud laugh, slapping Hyunwoo’s shoulder in the process and loving how cute the other man looked at all times despite his build. He decided not to mention the fact that he had been sleeping with Hyungwon for the past four years, not wanting to make the black-haired man even more uncomfortable.

“I'll be honest with you. I don't think I'm in love with you just yet- the you that you are right now.” He exhaled and sucked his lips into his mouth, pouting right after before he continued. “But I think I might be getting there and as long as I'm not the only one I think you can make me very happy.”

Hyunwoo’s dark brown eyes slid over his features repeatedly, corners of the plump lips lifting up when he smiled.

“You know that Hyungwon draws Hoseok a lot? Bunny showed me a couple of pictures and I laughed at him, but now, thinking about it, I think I can understand a little why he does that. Hyungwon I mean.”

_You speak in one-page sentences if you want to and he can barely express a thought. This is beyond hilarious._

It was funny actually, Minhyuk knew but he had never seen even one of the pictures, only the tattoos that Hoseok had drawn and covered the tall man's skin with. Hyungwon wasn't really a person to share a lot, not with him.

“For the sake of my sanity I will not ask why you call your best friend ‘bunny’ even though he's the incarnation of dominance in the body of a bodybuilder. I know that Hyungwon drew him, but I have never seen the drawings. I'm glad that you feel the same though, I'd love to see more of your work. If you like I can read some of mine to you one day, a poem maybe to not bore you for six hours.” Chuckling he let go of the broad man and let his hand run over the tree, rough surface rather pleasant against his tender palm. “I always sat here when I watched people and tried to write stories about them. I think I might have spent more hours leaning against this tree than at home.”

The expression turned somewhat emotional, as if the other man was struggling with something, hands curling into fists and dark brown eyes focused on Minhyuk’s face.

“I like the tree, but- but could we get something to eat because I’m basically dying and I can’t think if I don’t eat and I talk bullshit and am not a decent and understanding human being, so please feed me and tell me about that tree again.”

_He… gets emotional when he's hungry._

Minhyuk almost choked from laughing, head hitting against the tree without meaning to and forcing him to press his palm to the aching area, throwing a glance at the hungry man just to start giggling again. It was hilarious but also fit him so well, big body needing a mass of nutrients.

“Just tell me what you want to eat, big boy. I'll buy you everything,” he commented with a laugh and intertwined his fingers with Hyunwoo’s, smile bright and pulling the broader man towards the exit, thoughts pleasantly calm compared to the turmoil they were in when he left the house.

‘Meat’ was the elaborate answer as Hyunwoo let himself be dragged by the hand.

It felt electrifying to be able to decide how he wanted the relationship to develop, genuine words easily removing misunderstandings that had built up and bringing a feeling of calm and euphoric excitement to his chest.

_This is how it's supposed to feel, calm and pleasant instead of the constant worrying sensation of tearing organic tissue that you know._

His descriptions were being drastic again but he felt too cheerful to care, grinning sneakily and putting his foot in the way of the other man just to watch him almost fall to the ground, catching himself last minute. Laughing obnoxiously Minhyuk grabbed the warm hand even tighter and decided that if sex was an issue it was only a minor one.

He would have chosen platonic affection over emotionless sex anytime.

_Who knows, maybe this time you can even have both._

_

 

Apparently not.

It was difficult to say at which point exactly Minhyuk had built up the irrational hope that most issues were solved on their own with time, a little bit like a viral infection that couldn’t be treated properly apart from the symptoms and just disappeared when the time was right.

He had thought the same about their lack of sexual contact, thinking that not jumping the other man was the best choice and that if he waited long enough Hyunwoo would come to him all on his own, desiring to be closer and to go further than the simple act of kissing.

He had also thought that the waiting wouldn’t be particularly difficult, simply an item on one of those lists that Hyungwon loved creating, there and easy to ignore while taking care of all the other items.

_You’re an ingenious idiot. Hypocritical just like the formulation._

He loved spending time with the attractive and especially funny man, enjoying the awkward situations that kept occuring, be it with a waiter at a cafe or a random person on the street that asked him something that he didn’t have the right answer for immediately. It was sweet and showed Minhyuk more of what lay behind the strong and wall-like appearance, giving him an insight into what Hyunwoo was really like, just as he had wished. The dates they went on were enjoyable as well, filled with lots of coffee - and mostly tea for Minhyuk- long conversations that were led by him but also included rather elaborate explanations by Hyunwoo if Minhyuk gave him enough time to reply, views fascinating compared to his own- rather overdramatic- one.

If he described something as murderous, threatening or bloodcurdling it seemed to be ‘fine’, ‘easily taken care off’ or at most ‘unpleasant’ to Hyunwoo, problems only existing if they were difficult to comprehend.

More often than not Minhyuk was left with a bright smile and the immediate desire to see the thoughtful man again after their meetings. It was much more than he had hoped for. Apart from that one teeny tiny little thing.

_Emotional embraces and soft kisses under trees aren’t enough for you. You want them to be but they are not._

He kept trying, he really did, not touching the other too inappropriately despite his wandering hands, enjoying the kisses and melting into them as much as he could without wanting to rip Hyunwoo’s clothes off with his bare hands, even identifying spots where the fabric was less sturdy.

_What did you expect? You had a body-based relationship for four years with weekly meetups. You can’t just go from sex all the time to no sex at all. That’s not how it works._

But Minhyuk was a coward. Of course, he could be demanding and say what he wanted, but only if the benefits clearly outweighed the negative consequences. It was difficult to tell with Hyunwoo, to simulate the other man’s reaction to certain utterances and understand if it would scare him off or not. Even after spending so much time with him in the past weeks Minhyuk couldn’t really do it. The number of times he misunderstood a message and got furious were countless, once even throwing a pen at the other man just to be restricted in his motions and get an elaborate explanation of what had been meant. It was tiring but somehow also exciting. It showed him more of Hyunwoo and Minhyuk liked the thought that he kept getting better at interpreting the limited words and actions with the passage of time.

_But you don’t know if you’ll scare him off if you tell him that it is hard on you without bodily contact._

_And your pride, don’t forget your pride._

Being the one who admitted to suffering without the sexual contact made him the one who desired it the most, the one who was the neediest and the most affected bodily. But he didn’t want that to be the case. It had always been the other way around, other men loving his appearance and natural dominance and control in intimate situations and showing their desire for his body openly. Hyunwoo wasn’t like that at all, merely showing his emotional reactions and desire to stroke over his skin and admire the orchids on his back. All of these actions could have been perfectly platonic, not indicating any of the urgency Minhyuk felt whenever those rough hands caressed his skin, body burning up almost instantly from the piling up sexual frustration.

Lee Minhyuk was a person of planning, of building up situations like a plot, with a certain goal and particular actions that were necessary to achieve it. However, there was no simple plan to wake sexual attraction in Son Hyunwoo, none that would have worked without admitting his own urgent desire for contact.

_He just considers it cheap porn if you act teasing. He likes genuity but that would mean to show how fucking desperate you are at this point._

It seemed so superficial to suffer from lack of contact, like he was one of those people that needed sex to survive and wasn’t able to have a healthy, platonic relationship. There were so many stories in the media of paralyzed individuals keeping up their relationships with their spouses despite the spouses being sexually functional themselves. They managed to keep up a relationship with almost no sexual contact, so why was he having such a damn hard time? It seemed superficial and Minhyuk hated possessing qualities he disliked in others, it was hypocritical like so many other things he did.

_You’re drawing paths of self-dislike. Get out of it and do something apart from repeating it inside your head. You know it only creates a never-ending circle, Minhyuk._

The sound of his doorbell ripped him out of the intense thinking patterns, the loud noise repeating after a couple of seconds.

Minhyuk jumped up from his writing desk, the spot he occupied most of his time at home and ran to the door, collecting himself for a few seconds only and almost ripping the poor wood out of its holder. Excitement easily made him underestimate his strength.

Hyunwoo’s brown eyes widened a little at the force but the face stayed calm, as usual, small smile playing around the corners of the other man's plump lips.

“I have a reason to come because I brought you something,” the other man commented, waving a small paper bag in front of his nose. “I was a little sad about the cherry blossoms I didn't tattoo for you so I designed a notebook, putting the branch with the blossoms on the cover. It fits you really well because you're pretty like the petals but you can also use the branch to stab someone in the eye.” A grin appeared and the muscular man let out a low chuckle.

_Holy shit, he designed a notebook for you, Minhyuk. Because he felt bad for not tattooing it for you._

Suddenly the saying ‘melting into goo’ made sense as he felt warmth travelling up his legs and concentrating in his chest before it spread further. It truly felt like he was melting in a sea of gratitude generated by Hyunwoo's thoughtfulness.

Hyunwoo was absolutely adorable. Smiling brightly Minhyuk reached out to ruffle the black hair, fingers retreating and arms curling around the other man's neck instead as he squished the muscular body with all the strength he could muster from his lean arms, warmth remaining in his chest throughout the action and for once not awakening sexual desires.

“You're so sweet, Hyunwoo. Dear god, thank you so much. This might be the most thoughtful present I have ever received.”

“You're welcome, I hope that I've managed to buy your mercy,” the other man commented, stroking over the length of his back slowly, fingers applying pressure differently.

Minhyuk’s eyes narrowed, immediately trying to come up with something that Hyunwoo might have done and therefore needed to buy his mercy for. He couldn’t think of anything in particular apart from being ridiculously attractive.

“And what have you done that requires to buy my mercy?” he asked, leaning back to watch the black-haired man's expression properly.

“I didn't do anything. Yet.” Hyunwoo leaned in and placed a warm kiss against his neck, hot lips staying a little longer than usual, pressed against his skin.

The action appeared rather surprising, uncommon considering the way the other man usually held himself, touches brief or soaked in emotions. The kiss had been none of those, just like the words appeared to indicate a planned action, something that the thoughtful man still intended on doing and that wouldn't be to Minhyuk’s liking.

“So, you are buying my mercy for a crime that is still to be committed. What is this? A letter of indulgence? I fear that the church has been smart enough to abandon those at this point.” Smirking he let go and pulled the other man inside, door shutting loudly behind him as he threw the muscular body against the wall but didn't follow. He merely stood in the hallway and watched how Hyunwoo looked, pressed to the wall and eyes widened at the sudden action.

_And there goes the thought that holding back is easy._

“I love it when your eyes turn black like this, makes it even harder for me to hold back. Fuck.” Hyunwoo’s voice was low, even lower than usual, a sparkle appearing in the normally soft brown eyes out of nowhere.

_Are you hallucinating or did he just say he has difficulties holding back?_

Minhyuk observed the body in front of him in scrutinizing detail, examining the way the gaze changed, how the firm chest rose and fell a little quicker and the manner in which the lips appeared to lack moisture. All of those were signs that he was painfully familiar with, able to evoke and recognize them in a matter of seconds.

_He's cracking, just about to. It's happening exactly the way you wanted._

_You won't be the one giving in anymore. He will._

He grinned, allowing his teeth to play with his lower lip a little as his hands took a longer path than usual, stroking along his own arms and shoulders until they curled around his own waist, still watching Hyunwoo carefully.

_Just stay as natural as possible. He hates fake eroticism._

“Of course, you know, you wouldn't be Lee Minhyuk if you hadn't figured it out in a matter of seconds, am I right?” Hyunwoo stayed leaning against the wall, hands slowly curling into fists.

“Figured out what exactly, big boy?” Minhyuk asked, voice a little teasing as he stepped closer. His left hand remained curled around his own waist as the right one stretched out, two fingers walking upwards on the muscular arm, painfully slowly and touch impossibly light.

“And of course, you're going to play with it, fucking hell.” Strong fingers curled around his wrist in a split second as the black-haired man pulled him harshly, his chest hitting against the muscular one.

_You almost won._

Minhyuk couldn't help the relieved sigh that left his lips at the contact, quickly followed by a gasp because of the sudden motion and the impact. He smiled sweetly, hands curling around the broad body but still barely touching. It rather resembled a dance than a caress, fingertips only brushing the clothed waist.

“Am I playing with something? I don't think so, babe. I haven't even started yet.”

Hot lips attached to the skin of his neck immediately, licking and kissing up to the ear, warm breath exhaling against it.

“I want you, fuck, I want you, Minhyuk. Is it enough of the talking that you love so much?” Strong hands roamed over his back and pressed him even closer, Hyunwoo’s body knew exactly what it needed, motion natural and smooth.

_He always knew how to move naturally._

It was fascinating how unexpected the outburst seemed. There had been no warning, no change in behavior during all of their previous meetings. The desire appeared to hit the other man out of nowhere and steal his breath the longer their bodies remained disconnected.

Not being affected by the sight was impossible, hands digging into the firm muscles instead of the usual light touches and pulling the fabric upwards, naked, golden skin warm to the touch and only adding up to the desire to feel more.

_That's enough._

Nodding quickly and not bothering to reply Minhyuk clashed their lips together, hands turning ruthless as he scratched over the shoulders and bit down on the plump lower lip, licking inside the warm mouth and gasping at the proximity.

“Fuck me up, Min.” The barely recognizable words were breathed against his lips as the other man stroked down his lower back, grabbing his butt and pressing him against the muscular body.

He wanted to know what those rough hands would feel like against his naked skin, remember it again and drown in the perception.

The invitation was clear. Holding on tightly Minhyuk jumped up and let the black-haired man hold his weight, legs curling around the firm hips and hands pulling at the shirt impatiently. There was too much clothing, way too much clothing. Fuck.

Groaning in frustration he dug the nails of both hands into a thinner part of the fabric, movement rough and forceful as he ripped it, sufficiently to touch the naked back but not enough to remove the shirt completely, muscular chest still covered and only adding to the already present impatience.

“Get rid of it. Now,” he hissed and pulled at the black hair instead, tilting the other man's head enough to cover the plump mouth with his. Hyunwoo kissed back, moaning into his mouth and turned them, his back pressing against the wall while the strong hands got rid of the fabric in a matter of seconds before tugging at his shirt impatiently.

“You too.”

Moaning softly, he pressed his hips forward as he let go of the other man's neck and hair, lifting his arms up and throwing his head back, hitting the wall. Hyunwoo didn't need any further invitation, pulling the piece of clothing over his head and lips immediately attaching to the naked skin of his chest. The sturdy man licked over his collarbone, tiny drops of sweat forming on the broad forehead.

“You're pretty fucking eager for a straight boy,” Minhyuk gasped, surprised by the quick motions and rolled his hips again, pulling Hyunwoo by the hair to lead the lips where he wanted them, the crook of his neck. “Bite me, big boy.”

A low moan graced his ears as he felt a short stab of pain in his shoulder, accompanied by a smooth roll of the broad hips, movements urgent but precise.

“Try telling me you didn't want this all along. You're materialized sin, it was really hard to resist,” the low voice groaned against his collarbone.

“Incarnation-” Minhyuk gasped, senses blurring at the mixture of pleasure and pain and pulling even harsher at the black strands, wanting to make the other man moan. “Incarnation of sin.”

“Let me feel you, I want to feel you so bad, please,” Hyunwoo mumbled between the hot kisses along his neck, letting him pull the black hair and scratch the golden skin without a break.

“You can feel whatever you want, baby,” Minhyuk moaned and kissed the plump lips repeatedly, searching for more friction with his hips and hating his body for needing preparation and not allowing him to simply impale himself on the other man. “Just act on it.”

The reaction was fast, strong arms carrying him to the bed and placing his back on the soft sheets. The grip loosened and Hyunwoo opened the button of his jeans, sliding them down his slim legs along with the underwear, kissing his thighs and calves along with a small kiss on his naked feet. There was a major contrast between the relatively rough movement of the strong, masculine hands and the plump, soft lips, balancing the differences in touch and leaving him in awe.

“You’re beautiful, holy fuck.”

Minhyuk smiled at the compliment, curling his right leg around Hyunwoo’s neck and using it to pull him back up, flexibility only a plus. Grabbing the attractive face with his palms he kissed the warm mouth repeatedly, licking inside and rubbing the muscular body over his own on purpose, seeking contact.

_Clothes, get rid of them._

Groaning at the inability to feel the golden skin to the fullest he pushed Hyunwoo back, using his legs to speed up the process and hissing in anger at how long it took. Impatience had always been one of his problems. Quick hands were all that was needed to undo the button on the other man’s jeans and to pull them down the muscular thighs. It was fast but still not fast enough. The beautiful golden skin on the firm legs was juicy enough to make Minhyuk bite into the right thigh impatiently, fingers caressing the hips and firm butt.

“You’re gorgeous,” he commented and mouthed the covered erection before pulling the briefs down as well, leaving both of them completely naked and reminding him of the fact that he couldn't just connect their bodies. “But sometimes I hate being a man.”

Hyunwoo ignored the comment, pinning his body between the muscular arms, biceps flexing at the motion and sucking on his nipple, rolling it and nibbling on it in succession, muscular body warm and pressed against his.

After being deprived of the bliss of another man on top of him for so long, each little touch sent shivers down his spine, blurring his senses even further and making him want to feel the beautiful man’s lips and teeth all over him. Hyunwoo managed to drive the planning aspect of sex out of him, mind too busy with watching him lose his goddamn mind even without any effort.

“Shit, touch me more, Hyunwoo,” he moaned and closed his eyes.

“I can’t help it anyway, I have no idea how to do it right, but I don’t even care. Have mercy on me.” The low voice chuckled, before the rough, big hands roamed over his body, fingers intertwining with the strands of his hair and pulling harshly, teeth attaching to his neck and shoulders, hips moving against his groin sensually. It was pure madness and they had barely even started yet. Fuck.

“I-” Minhyuk attempted to speak, unwilling to burn more before he had to disrupt the pleasure. He hated interrupting but there was no other way for him to get what he wanted and finally dissolve the sexual tension that had built up. He hoped to be quick and therefore capable of jumping the black-haired man while he was still on his high. “I need to get ready for this.”

“O-Okay, I’ll wait for you.” Hyunwoo kissed him once, soft lips tasting him so sensually although it had only been a kiss, before the muscular body freed him, eyes still lingering on his naked form, basically eating him up with the unusually dark gaze. It was attractive and Minhyuk couldn’t help but bite his lower lip at the tension between them.

Watching Hyunwoo carefully he pulled his legs towards himself and turned around smoothly, climbing down from the bed with slow movements to add up to the way the other man looked at him. It drove him mad, touches adding emotionality while the eyes showed how much the black-haired man wanted him.

_It’s everything you ever wanted, Minhyuk._

He really didn’t want to leave, biting his lip another time as he turned around abruptly and stared at the attractive naked man sitting on his bed, waiting for him to return while being visibly affected, not only by his looks but also by the emotions they shared.

“I’ll be quick,” he whispered before walking through the door in the direction of the bathroom, heartbeat almost deafening although he had been in similar situations countless times. However emotional attachment made it more difficult each time, adding significance and possible worries. When the plump lips were on his and rough hands caressed his body there was no possibility to think about the other man’s concerns, but it was there when he cleaned up, preparing his body and hoping that it was okay for Hyunwoo, something that he really wanted.

_He jumped you for fuck’s sake, stop doubting yourself._

It was ridiculous how the worries returned although Minhyuk had seen how the black-haired man looked at him only minutes ago. Drying himself up with a fluffy towel he brushed his black hair to the back and returned to the bedroom, eyes focusing on the beautiful man who was sitting on the edge of the bed, propped up on both arms and head thrown back. He was fucking gorgeous and Minhyuk wanted to climb him like a tree.

Unable to help himself he crossed the distance and sat down on top of the firm thighs, lips attaching to the golden skin of the other man’s neck and biting down as his hands scratched over the muscular upper arms. He wanted him so fucking badly.

“You have no idea how much I want to hear you moan and wreck you with the tightness of my body when you look like that,” he whispered against the skin before nibbling on the particularly sensitive connection of shoulder and neck.

“And I want you to lose it, not think about whether you look pretty, or say something witty, or whether I want you, but just lose your fucking mind for once. I’ll try to take care of it, I promise, I want you, I want you so badly, you have no fucking idea what I’ve thought and felt over the past weeks, thinking and almost dying from the tension. Fuck.” The words were mumbled against his skin, alternating with the feeling of sharp teeth sinking into his shoulders and neck, hot, wet tongue tracing the marks right after while the hips under him moved up automatically.

_He knows you better than you know him._

It was fascinating how Hyunwoo was able to read all of his insecurities right from his words and actions while hiding everything about himself behind a thick layer of fog, difficult to trace and only coming to the surface when the other decided to mention and reveal it. It was a little unfair but Minhyuk couldn’t occupy himself with his inability to read his boyfriend, body too preoccupied with the numbing sensation of pleasure and pain.

_He wants you, despite everything and without hesitations._

_So why are you hesitating?_

He moaned and bit his lip painfully, collecting his senses sufficiently to gesture at the other man to allow him to reach for the lube, leaning to the side until he could reach the drawer properly and pulling a bottle and a condom out. Throwing the latter next to the black-haired man’s thigh he opened the lube and grabbed the large hand, pouring some on top of it before throwing it to the side again.

“Warm it up,” he muttered and forced his body to not get overly excited at the thought of the other man’s rather long and nicely formed fingers inside of him. “I want you to finger me. I’ll show you how to hit and then you should be able to do the same with your dick, babe.”

A sharp exhale was the only answer as the muscular man lifted his hand further up and rubbed the liquid between the fingers, back of the hand veiny and masculine, nails cut short, just like Minhyuk liked it. It was absolutely perfect just like everything about the other seemed to be.

“Tell me and I’ll do it just the way you want it.” Hyunwoo stretched out the lubed-up fingers, waiting for him to take the lead.

“Fuck, you’re such a good boy,” Minhyuk gasped, overwhelmed by how much the other wanted to please him and curled his fingers around the wrist. He lifted his body up, a few centimeters above the firm thighs and reached between his legs from behind, singling out Hyunwoo’s index finger for the start. That should have made it easier for the black-haired man to identify the bundle of nerves that took every coherent thought from him and set his body on fire. Relaxing his muscles and closing his eyes he loosened his grip to enable the other man to act on his own. “Go ahead and I’ll adjust later.”

Hyunwoo was fast, sliding a digit in while nibbling on his shoulder tenderly before looking up, catching his gaze and waiting for further notice. It was sweet somehow.

Minhyuk exhaled at the intrusion, body used to it and merely screaming at him to do it right and drown in pleasure instead of the slow torture he was pulling himself through. Reaching for the other man’s hand he adjusted the angle, tilting the wrist and the index finger so that the black-haired man only needed to push forward.

“Press,” he whispered, eyes remaining closed and patiently waiting for pleasure to course through him. Somehow the way Hyunwoo was eager to learn and to please him made waiting insignificant and easy to deal with.

He didn’t have time to breath in before the other man followed his instruction, curling the finger and pressing against the sensitive spot, sending sparks along his spine and thighs. It was mesmerizing, the motion was immediately repeated as soon as Hyunwoo had realized that he had been doing it right. The other man’s body was simply extraordinary, especially in the way it had always known what to do and how to do it, like some kind of physical intuition.

Minhyuk basked in the pleasure that the quick movement of the finger inside of him evoked, goosebumps spreading over his arms and legs and small moans leaving his lips without a break, eyes remaining closed to focus on the feeling. A few well aimed stabs were absolutely sufficient to make him want more, body remembering exactly how it could feel and what was needed to feel it.

“More,” he moaned against a golden shoulder, not even realizing that he had rested his head against it after giving up on holding it up himself. The request was abstract but he hoped it would be clear enough, hips meeting the thrusts all on their own. A second finger joined as it had also been lubed up, the other man had obviously done some research, aiming well for someone who did it for the first time.

_Holy shit._

Gasping, Minhyuk kept his eyes closed and head resting on the muscular shoulder, just lifting his hand quickly to show the adjustment of an angle before burying it in the other man’s biceps again, definitely leaving marks with how much strength he used.

“I love how you feel, I want to feel more of you,” the low voice whispered somewhere next to his ear while the fingers were working their way inside him.

“Do whatever you want, Hyunwoo,” he moaned and lifted his hips a little more with the motion of the long fingers to increase the force with which they hit inside of him, each stab like a little explosion behind his eyelids but still not enough, pleasure building up but not coloring his vision white yet. His hands were ruthless as usual, scratching along everything he could reach as his teeth attached to the shoulder. “I want more, fuck. I love how your fingers feel inside of me.”

“Sit on me, Min,” the black-haired man groaned, biting into his shoulder, probably as an answer to the deep red lines his fingers had left along the golden skin.

“Shit,” Minhyuk cursed and grabbed Hyunwoo’s hand to pause the motion, unable to concentrate and do as requested with the constant onslaught of pleasure. Moving up to slide the fingers out of himself he merely wiped them on his own thigh before grabbing the condom and ripping it open with his teeth. He rolled it over the beautiful erection, well-endowed and dark in color and poured some lube right on top, spreading it with his right hand through a few strokes before inhaling sharply. Pulling his lips into his mouth he kept his eyes wide open, lining up and letting himself slide down slowly while watching the expression in the beautiful dark eyes.

They widened and he felt two strong hands grabbing his hips roughly, not controlling the movement, but staying attached, while the plump lips parted in a low moan. 

It felt fulfilling in all senses of the word, fulfilling his desire to be impossibly close to the other man, fulfilling his wish for sexual pleasure and lastly fulfilling his body in its entirety. Moaning at the sensation that he had missed so much he leaned forward, licking over the other man's lips and rolling his hips in a circle while remaining seated on the firm thighs, getting used to the sensation while stimulating the other man.

“I love how you feel inside of me, Hyunwoo,” he whispered into the beautiful man's mouth and repeated the motion until he felt comfortable with his ability to move. Grinning seductively, he rose up, grabbing the black hair forcefully as his other hand dug into the muscular shoulder. Waiting for approximately four seconds he dropped down, pulling the hair at the same time and moaning at the burst of pleasure behind his eyelids, loving each second and wanting to feel more of the other man. Minhyuk kept his eyes open just to see how it made the black-haired man feel.

There was a loud moan, head throwing back with the motion of his hand pulling the black hair and hips thrusting up in an intuitive motion, fingers digging into his sides before loosening the grip and sliding down to his thighs, massaging them.

Son Hyunwoo had an immense amount of self-control that he seemed rather reluctant to lose. For now.

Biting his lip to keep himself sane and to not drown completely in the pleasure Minhyuk sped up, lifting his body and dropping it on the erection inside of him with force, moaning at each well-aimed thrust inside of him while scratching the golden skin and pulling the black hair. He wanted the other to take over and make him see stars but he wasn't far enough to demand it yet, pleasure still pleasantly buzzing in his groin.

“Fuck, don’t stop, please.” The brown eyes settled on his face finally as the other man moaned after seeing the expression that pleasure had painted on it. “I want to make you scream, what do you like, Min?” The teeth settled on the plump lower lip as the muscular man had taken each of the painful sensations his fingers, his nails and teeth gifted him with. It was fucking hot how Hyunwoo was able to take it all.

Minhyuk’s brain acted very typically, movements stopping immediately as soon as the word ‘please’ had left the plump lips, remaining seated and watching the affected face, desperate to feel more just like he was himself.

“I'll turn around, stay on all fours and you fuck me senseless, big boy. That's what I like,” he commented with a grin and climbed off, erection slipping out of him and evoking a hiss at the loss, impatience returning almost immediately. As he had announced, he crawled to the middle of the bed, spreading his legs a little to adjust the height for a better angle and glancing over his shoulder at the black-haired man.

The other man had watched him intently, dick twitching at the way he had spread his legs, before crawling up and positioning the hips behind him. Warm palms stroked over his spine before grabbing his hips roughly. He felt the other man’s thick length filling him up slowly.

Minhyuk moaned, right knee slipping forward unintentionally before he put it back to remain in place and steady. Exhaling slowly the impatience returned and he pushed back the rest of the way, wanting to feel more and be stimulated.

“Aim downwards,” he muttered and closed his eyes, lips remaining parted as he could have sworn on the fact that he wouldn't be able to remain quiet as soon as Hyunwoo decided to move. “I fucking love how you fill me up. Don't hesitate the last few centimeters, I can take it.”

The grip on his hips tightened even more, sending slightly painful spikes through his body before Hyunwoo moved back and slammed into him, loud, low moan gracing his ears.

“Fuck, Min, fuck- you feel amazing.”

The force almost threw him out of balance again, only the firm grip keeping him in place as pleasure spiked up but not quite as much as it could have. Minhyuk spread his legs a little wider to stabilize his position and smiled at the outburst, loving how much Hyunwoo let go and lost himself in the feeling.

“A tiny bit lower,” he whispered and prepared himself, contracting his muscles to remain in place while soaring from pleasure. “Keep up the roughness, it drives me mad.”

There was movement behind him, as the other man probably adjusted his position before slamming back in, one hand intertwining with his hair and pulling a little, but not nearly as forceful as his own hands normally did.

“Fuck,” he cursed, white exploding behind his eyelids followed by a loud moan and a whimper, wishing to repeat the sensation immediately as he pushed back with his body. The slight pain at his scalp only added to the feeling, tingling spreading along his neck but he wanted more. “Just like that, fuck, pull harder.”

Hyunwoo was such a good boy, doing everything he had asked without any signs of hesitation, the amount of trust simply incredible. The fingers pulled a little more while the movements got more precise and less sloppy, the other man learning to act with his body in a matter of seconds.

The combination was otherworldly, a loud scream leaving his lips at a perfect combination of mind-blowing pleasure and stimulating pain. Curses followed up without a break, blurriness spreading the more the other increased the speed of his thrusts, naturally responding to his body’s reactions and moans.

“Come on, I know you're hiding a whole Hercules behind those arms,” Minhyuk moaned and immediately buried his nails in the sheets, knowing that the other followed his requests and trusting the rough hands on his hips to keep him in place.

“Shit, Min you’re sin, you drive me absolutely nuts.” He felt how the hot body leaned over him after an intense thrust, hand pulling his head back and sharp teeth sinking into his shoulder. Leaning back the other man pulled out, turning him around and positioning himself between his legs.

“I want to see your face, I love it.”

Minhyuk chuckled, amused by the fact that he would have done the same in the next thirty seconds had Hyunwoo not turned him around all by himself. Brushing his hair back he smiled and grabbed behind his knees, pulling them up to improve the angle and breathing harshly, pleasure building up steadily with the way the other man did exactly what he liked.

“Go for it, big boy,” he said in invitation and threw his head back, revealing his neck and immediately becoming impatient at how much he wanted Hyunwoo to fill him up again. “Give it to me.”

The words had an immediate effect, a sharp exhale, the warm, wet tip against him, the feeling of being filled up completely until there was no space, soft lips on his neck and teeth nibbling on his collarbone before the other man decided to move and took his legs up the broad, muscular shoulders.

Groaning Minhyuk let go and buried his hands in the golden skin and the soft black strands instead, not holding back and also not able to with the way he buried his blunt nails in the broad shoulders and pulled at the hair. The feeling was overwhelming and he felt like he wouldn't be able to take it without the harsh actions of his hands.

“Fuck, yes- fuck me senseless,” he gasped and threw his head to the side, basking in the attention and the tightening coil in his groin.

“I want to touch you, can I?” the low voice asked, almost breathless from the continuous movement.

Minhyuk nodded, interrupted by a scream that left him at a particularly harsh thrust, painting his vision in pearl white until it cleared and he couldn't help the disappointment. Lips pulled together in a frown as he mentally begged for repetition, unable to control his facial expressions. The attentive man must’ve noticed as the next motion returned the white, strong fingers curling around his painfully hard dick, stroking it along with the thrusts.

“Oh my fucking god,” he murmured, words incoherent and barely comprehensible, throwing his head from side to side and pulling the black-haired man closer by the strands between his fingers. He didn't care that the action bent him in half, each motion setting him on fire like a match, one touch absolutely sufficient. His other hand scratched over the broad back mercilessly. “I’m close, shit, you're driving me mad, Hyunwoo. Fuck.”

There was no comment as the thrusts got even more precise despite the tension, fingers tightening around his dick and sending him over the edge, accompanied by beautiful low moans and the feeling of the other man’s body over and inside him.

“Fuck my life,” Minhyuk murmured, vision still a blur despite his open eyelids and body slowly coming down from his high, fingers loosening from the abused skin of the black-haired man's back but keeping the strong grip on the soft strands.  He allowed himself a few more breaths before he returned his attention to the gorgeous man on top and inside of him. Lifting up with the help of the black hair he exhaled against the plump lips, loving the effect it had on the other man. “I want to feel you come, big boy.”

The dark brown eyes were open wide as the pink tongue licked over the abused, plump lips, returning moisture with sweat running down the golden temples, landing on Minhyuk’s body. Hyunwoo nodded briefly, grabbing his hips with both hands and slamming into his body with force but less rough than before he had orgasmed. It took only a couple of movements for the fingers to dig into his flesh, muscles flexing against his own thighs and calves as the beautiful man released himself with a low moan of his name, head thrown back in ecstasy.

It was beyond beautiful. Every action of the muscular man seemed so attentive, never focused on himself but rather aiming for his pleasure. It seemed so unusual to him, only familiar from Hyungwon who had always seemed impossibly calculated but mentally absent when they were close. The attention and affection put a smile on his face, kissing the beautiful plump lips and stroking over the soft hair as Hyunwoo recovered from his orgasm, breathing heavily and resting some of the weight on top of him.

“Thank you for caring so much,” Minhyuk whispered, realizing what a weird thing to say it was after an intense session of sex, covered in cum and still filled up to the brim. He sighed at himself and added it to possible embarrassing things to say during sex in case he wanted to use it for a novel and buried his face in the crook of the other man's neck, inhaling the musky scent and basking in how manly Hyunwoo was.

_He gives a shit, Minhyuk. He really does._

The muscular man grabbed the tissues from the bedside table and wiped over his stomach and thighs, pulling out carefully. After getting rid of the condom Hyunwoo returned, throwing the bulky, athletic body next to him on the grey sheets. He felt how the plump lips placed a soft kiss on his shoulder, the hot and sweat covered body spooning him from behind. The action seemed impossibly tender until the arms curled tighter, not leaving much room for movement and a low voice spoke into his ear.

“Now that I've caught you, you could tell me why you always try to win some kind of war I have no idea about. Every time we're together it seems as if you make up intentions I might have, scenarios or situations, my thoughts and feelings, being all ready to fight, although I have no idea against what. Me liking you? Tell me.”

_Not simply a cupboard. A sneaky cupboard._

Minhyuk tried out the strength of the grip, wriggling a little but feeling rather like a Magikarp on land, ridiculous and absolutely useless.

“First of all, I appreciate your extensive research on how to treat your partner after sex. Second, what war? There is no war. I just like teasing.” There was no reason to unpack the black bag of insecurities and cover the black-haired man with them, talks after sex were supposed to be simple and soft, none of the emotionally loaded stuff Minhyuk could feel coming his way. “I try to read you, isn't that absolutely normal? It's just hard. I couldn't tell at all that you wanted me.”

“I think that you're mistaken. You could've recognized, just like you recognized when I surprised you today because you had no time to use that crazy brain of yours. You're not really trying to read me, you're trying to attribute thoughts and intentions to my behavior without really listening to what I say. You also don't seem to enjoy the interaction. Don't you feel safe with me? Do I make you feel like you need to prepare for the bargepole murder or whatever that is that you think while pulling your lips inside your mouth all the time?” The strong arms pulled him further against the other man's warm body.

“No, it's-”

_What is it, Minhyuk?_

He was constantly trying to interpret the other man's actions, but the possibility that he had seen something that wasn't actually there appeared too far off for him, unfitting to reality and what he could see.

_But you keep thinking that he's so easy to read because everything is on his cute face, awkwardness showing, so why can't you tell?_

Was he being fake? Planning out all his movements because he was too worried about what Hyunwoo might think of him, possibly leave because of disappointment.

“Maybe I just don't want to get hurt,” he muttered instead of arguing back, unsure of how to make it believable without straight out lying to the other man, not the best prerequisite for a working relationship. “But my interpretations of your behavior aren't that far off, I'm just trying to consider that this is new for you and platonic hugging might be your kink. I don't know, Hyunwoo. I just think a lot in general.”

“Since when do you hold back with talking? What happened in those ten years, Minhyuk? I don't want to hurt you and I'm sure that I won't if you talk to me about all this. I can't read your mind but I know exactly how to read your body although it has been a long time,” the hot lips mumbled against his shoulder, placing kisses here and there.

He felt how his body relaxed into the touch, eyes closing and fingers sinking into the fabric of the sheets. He took a deep breath, preparing himself to talk.

“I just loved people that didn't love me back, Hyunwoo. It's fine though, I'm over it. Now I'm just going to kick ass whenever anybody upsets me, you included.” He smiled playfully although Hyunwoo couldn't see it. “You know how knowing less makes you less prone to hurt someone? That was kind of my go-to tactic. I'm still getting back into the whole process of opening up and talking about things that really matter. It's easier with you though, you listen and you're impossibly sweet. I can't even remember the last time someone paid so much attention to me during sex, ignoring personal pleasure. I'm a little overwhelmed and the way you hug me is also very nice, like a giant bear pulling me close and keeping me protected, although I'm not really someone who would need protection.”

He exhaled roughly as soon as he realized how long he had been talking, mind just unravelling the longer he remained pressed against the warm skin.

“Who knows, Hyunwoo, maybe you'll be the person I'll allow you to protect me. Do you want to be?”

“I’d love to. If you need time, I’m also fine, I just want to do everything so you can comfortably be the person you are around me. I love you and every single thing about you, even the creepy things, you’re a special. My special.” The lips spread in a smile against his neck before the strong arms turned him, soft brown orbs focused on his face and impossibly affectionate. “I love you. I think I loved you back then too, differently but still.”

_He loves you?_

Minhyuk’s eyes widened and stared into the tear-shaped eyes he loved so much, reaching out to cup a warm cheek.

“I- I don’t mean to be unromantic or anything, Hyunwoo, but are you sure that you love me already? After the time we spent together? I mean the signals are there, not only on your side, but also on mine. However, I am someone who believes that one needs to let a bit of time pass and all the crazy feelings disappear, leaving either nothing or genuine feelings of love. But shit, this feels much more impactful than typical three-month romances do. Maybe you are right, maybe this is way more already and I am simply the one who is trying to talk this down all by myself, making it seem less significant than it is.”

_You are talking to yourself again, assigning beliefs to him without even asking him._

“What do you think, Hyunwoo?”

“Be unromantic as much as you want, this is not about being anything. I will tell you what I think. The recovery time after I had broken up with one of my previous partners always consisted of a simulation of what would’ve happened if I didn’t run away back then, if I had answered the letter back then, if I had talked to you then, shit I even have the fucking letter and your phone number written on top of it. In the past ten years it had been the only thing I wasn’t happy about, you know when other people ask you for regrets? There had been only this one thing, always. But then you came into my studio, touching me as if no time passed, smiling and blinking unevenly, writing the same fucking number on this post-it. How does someone have the same number for ten years, Minhyuk? Something deep inside tells me that you’re also a little more affected than you act towards me.” Hyunwoo cupped his chin and lifted it up a little, such that his eyes met the intense gaze.

He bit his lip, mind easily playing out the words like a drama in front of his inner eye, the way Hyunwoo must have sat in front of the letter he had written back then, on blue paper because he wanted it to be neutral but also pretty, unable to decide for what felt like three hours in that tiny paper shop. The owner had even thrown him out when it had taken too long for his taste, small blue sheet in his hands. It had been a little dumb back then, buying only one, considering how many times he had re-written the letter and was forced to keep a tiny mistake in the final version.

“Holy shit, Hyunwoo. It feels so crazy how many things you never say. I put so much thought into that damn letter and was almost sure that you would reply. I don’t know why I thought it, something during the graduation party made me feel that way, assuming on my own and not changing my number for ages. When I saw you again, I thought you would be distant and uncomfortable, but no, the absolute opposite. It seemed rather as if you were just waiting for me to pop by and intrude in your personal space. Why is it so hard to act for you, Hyunwoo? What exactly is it that keeps you from it? What held you back, back then?” Sucking both lips into his mouth he licked over them, hoping it would return the moisture that kept disappearing, warmth burning in his chest at the proximity and the emotionality he could see on the attractive face. “Shit, you must have been staring at that stupid mistake of mine for ten years then, for fuck’s sake.”

The plump lips spread in a beautiful smile.

“The stupid mistake is the reason that I thought there would be a second chance for me someday. You’re not someone who keeps his mistakes for others to see, are you?” A low chuckle graced his ears. “What kept me from acting had been the lack of experience, what a forsaken chance could mean for my life.”

_You matter so much, Minhyuk. Fuck, what did you even do for all of this?_

“I think I love you too,” Minhyuk murmured, a little overwhelmed by the affection Hyunwoo poured into his words, making him the one person he regretted letting go in his life, someone important, someone important beyond a simple meeting. Fuck. “If you make me cry, I will poke out our eye with a pencil. They are fucking sharp, I swear.” Pressing his lips together and holding his breath he attempted to hold back the unexpected outburst of emotions, staring at the ceiling to avoid the vulnerability on the beautiful face.

He felt the body next to him shift as warm and incredibly soft lips began placing kisses on his face, first the lips, the cheeks and the nose before leaning over him and kissing his forehead for what felt like at least ten seconds.

“You’re perfect, Min. I sincerely love every tiny thing about the way you are. You make me so happy by just existing next to me, it’s crazy.”

Minhyuk laughed, pulling his knee up to kick the other man as he hugged him nevertheless, emotions a little conflicting just like his actions.

“You make me happy too, fuck- you always make such an idiot out of me. You have no idea how long I needed to buy that stupid blue paper or even write the letter. It took ages and I wrote at least fifteen poems until I decided it was way too embarrassing and that I am not a romantic teenager. Fuck my life.” Breathing in the mixture of the musky scent and the sweet actions must have gone to his head, fingers shivering a little with how he attached himself, burying themselves in the black locks.

“I think you just don’t know the extent to what my attention had been eaten up by everything you did. I know how you look when you want to tease, when you try to think up a scenario for me to do something, how your lips purse when you didn’t get the exact outcome. I don’t know your thoughts but I think I can be a person where you can let go. Let me be this tree for you, you can kick me and you can climb me, you can scream at me when you’re frustrated and you can love me just the way you want to love me. Without any repercussions.” The expression stayed neutral until the other man had finished his elaborate monologue, hand stroking over his hair with a rather rough movement.

It was so ironic, like a novel that was so surreal that he couldn’t have thought it up, problems that meeting again after ten years were supposed to bring about almost non-existent with them, just like the emotions appeared to have stayed. It made no sense, time was supposed to heal everything.

_Maybe not everything. Maybe you didn’t want to heal._

“And you can accidentally rip off a limb with how careless you tend to be and it’s alright,” Minhyuk said with a laugh, enjoying the way Hyunwoo managed to have impossibly controlled movements but still used force with him, probably because he enjoyed it so much. “You are really impressive, Hyunwoo. Everyone must underestimate you so much, thinking you are just that softie who draws flowers, holy shit. I’ll change up your image, there has to be something fierce about you if you can deal with me.”

“I think you have a point with the tree. I just think a lot without saying anything, but nothing happens even if I do open my mouth, look at bunny. With you it just seems necessary and I really want you to understand me.” Hyunwoo pulled his body on top of himself without any signs of strain.

“You’re this huge tree of wisdom and I’m the only one who can eat the fruit,” Minhyuk commented and bit into the plump lower lip, licking over it in reconciliation afterwards, smile in place. “Thank you for talking to me, seriously. I appreciate it and I wasn’t really one to talk about issues myself, just eating it up until it was too late and I got hurt. With you I am telling you so much and it really helps. It really seems like I am reaping what I sowed, seeing the benefits of saying what I expect and what I want. Watch me write a short story about a boy falling in love with a seed that he buried in the earth and that grew into a pretty tree boy or something.” Laughing at the idea he pulled the other man towards his neck, placing a kiss on top of the black hair and smiling at how pleasant just lying in bed and talking was, heart at rest just like his thoughts.

Hyunwoo let out a small chuckle, brushing a strand of his black hair behind a curled ear and leaned in closer, sucking in air right below his earlobe.

“It’s amazing how this one memory remained over the years, the way you smell.”

“The way I smell? You remembered that? What is it like?” Minhyuk couldn’t remember anybody else ever telling him that he smelled a particular way, Hyungwon had been more concerned with certain body movements and rather obsessed with understanding facial expressions so smell had been the least of his concerns. One of his other boyfriend’s only called it sweet before. Licking over the shell of Hyunwoo’s ear he bared more of his neck, allowing the other man to enjoy it some more.

“Mmmh, do you know those modern tables that are made out of raw wood? The ones where you can sense the scent perfectly, freshly cut and basically covering everything in the fragrance. And now imagine sitting at such a table and eating vanilla ice-cream with hot cherries.” The other man kept sucking in air and placing hot kisses against his neck between the words.

Minhyuk pictured the scene, the way he would let his hands roam over the rough wood of the table and breathe in the scent of the cherries, letting them warm up his tongue in addition to the cold sensation of the ice cream. It was enchanting.

“It sounds amazing, Hyunwoo.” Smiling he stroked over the black hair, fascinated that he could smell like that to someone else, evoke such an intense reaction and at the same time be memorable for a period of ten years. It was absolutely overwhelming. “Thank you.”

“No,” the other man muttered, lifting the brown eyes and focusing them on his face, expression soft. “Thank _you_.” Warm lips pressed a kiss against his lips, touch staying a little longer than usual before the beautiful man leaned back and smiled at him.

“It’s my favorite scent.”

 

~ The End ~


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